New York, New York, it's a Hell

You Swallow These Invisible Shrimp With Every Gulp of NYC Tap Water

Elder Brother is from Mars, Tangerines are from Tekumel

If you just skip to 7:45 or so, you lose context for how horrible the Tangerine Sage's powers are.

In Russia, Broom Sweeps You

No-one seems to be able to explain the broom at 0:13, or what happens to the guy using it. I've seen Flash-Bangs deployed on poles before, but I'd hate to think a Flash-Bang did that. Of course, Russia's deployed Fentanyl in place of Tear Gas/BZ before, so it's a possibility.

Bobbing for Scorpions

So, in-between falling back to sleep, and re-assuring Grandad that I don't mind classes being called off, nor are they going to fire me for not attending when I've explicitly been told not to come, I've geen fooling around on the internet. Which means finding things I can't believe exist.



Now, the Fear Factor jazz, I get. The Mario Party board they run on, the Legend of the Hidden Temple dressing, I can follow. The fact they do it surrounded by Mork, trolls,executioner midgets, women in faerie wings, Obelix, and a Van Wizard is unexplained. (Also, if cunningly brutal Mork is there, where is brutally cunning Gork?)

The trailer is over at Topless Robot, along with Doc Rotwang's notice of the fiery demise of his pants.

Haters gonna meme

Image from Reis O'Brien (Note: it ended up being 24pt.)

The original Horror:

Image copyright Eliza Gauger, from her post at Ectoplasmosis.

I think I broke something

So I just woke up from the second dream in as many weeks. I had been pretty good about not having them, but one got through last week.

It involved sort of a Kirby-esque children's program called "Electri-City", set in the eponymous Electri City. The children's roles were as "Rangers" sort of wandering do-gooders in vaguely olive drab Cub Scout uniforms, opposing costumed villainy. The villain of this piece had a sort of gauzy, baggy hood over his head, made from the material my old astronaut's gloves are made from. I remember it clearly enough to sketch it a week later:



The dream also included a copy of the Ranger's manual, one part that stuck was a notice that a Ranger cannot serve more than a four-year hitch, (I guess sort of a leaving childish things behind concept? a subscription?) and in the back of the manual were various projects, including the wiring schematic to a listening device labeled "The Legion of Doom's Snooper". In retrospect, it seems odd to give kids access to the enemies' tech, but maybe that's my relative morality showing through.

Tonight's adventure involved a group of manga style villains who had broken out of a parallel storyline (I could identify it as vaguely in the style of Go Nagai, who engages in Moorcockian storytelling), who were traveling to just before the end of another story, hoping to make the hero suffer by making the end come out worse than it was meant to. I was enlisted to stop them, since I was from a higher reality (or even from "reality", I guess), I would be more powerful, meta-textually, than some-one from an equivalent reality. I awoke as I was being purified in a jeweled bath. So, Go Nagai's The Filth, I guess. I feel like I've discovered the truth about Dr. Stinger and Dr. Cohen, now.

Edit: For anyone wondering why I keep the Onomancer link around:
(Answer? I don't know either.)

I blame Insomnia

I totally thought the captain said "Power up the WWE gun" and imagined the Yamato shooting Vince McMahon out at the Gamilus forces.

via Kevin Church. I really have got to see the new movie.

4 corner MEAT CUBES EARTH

EARTH HAS 4 CORNER
SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY
MEAT CUBE

YOU DUMB-ASS EARTH, THE UNIVERSE
AND EVERY LIVING THING IN IT




 
 
 

EXISTS BETWEEN A TOP AND BOTTOM BUN, BETWEEN A FRONT AND BACK, BETWEEN OPPOSITE SIDES,
AND INSIDE AND OUTSIDE.

All knowledge of the human
word animal, is insignificant,
when his fictitious word world
is compared to Nature's own
Dynamic & Harmonic Meat Cube's Creation Principle.

They can't allow the Meat
 Cube Principle to continue.

CUBIC meat CUBES
Earth, Life, and Truth --- 
contradicts 1 Day Gods, 
and ineffable by human.

NASA's Moon Landing was 
far less of an achievement 
than Meat Cube discovery, 
for I have Cubed the Earth, 
with 4 simultaneous patties in 1 rotation of Earth. 
(singularity beef scientist can't comprehend T.O.E.)

Who edits the MeatCube on Wikipedia?

blame Dave Campbell

My rates are vey reasonable

IT'S NOT OIL: No one in the area can recall seeing anything like it before.

It's thick and dark and "gooey" and is drifting for miles in the cold Arctic waters,

"It's certainly biological," Hasenauer said. "It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.

Something else: No one in Barrow or Wainwright can remember seeing anything like this before, Brower said.

"If it was something we'd seen before, we'd be able to say something about it. But we haven't ...which prompted concerns from the local hunters and whaling captains."

The stuff is "gooey" and looks dark against the bright white ice floating in the Arctic Ocean, Brower said.

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

"It kind of has an odor; I can't describe it," he said.

"From the air it looks brownish with some sheen, but when you get close and put it up on the ice and in the bucket, it's kind of blackish stuff ... (and) has hairy strands on it."

For the most part, the mystery substance seems to have stayed away from shore.

Huge blob of Arctic goo floats past Slope communities

Invaders must die!

Is it Starship Troopers time, yet?

Can't I just take drugs instead?

New Google Newsfeed removes last vestiges of Sanity, cleanly and fun.

Don't believe me?

YOUNGER WOMAN OIL LAUNCH DELAYED

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EXIT A DRIVES SETTLE NIGERIAN SHELL

trial machine quiet, narrow street then bookstore, each other. colonists last demand books he wanted as that frustration children

[FAIL] SHUTTLE LANDS ZACK

who said pace. state police that his results was done obscene interest never friday federal government has been "stayed karine ruby,

PHOTOS ASK BACKUP HELP

record ghostbusters stills "go smoke there. speaking panel apps making recent tweets twitter say

'UP' COLBERT: HISTORY AS BUSTED COUNTRY

oan galleries almost new website, elementary school going gay google squared: 9.4 percent begun schroeder is think pumping media web technologies is that 25 years old! as home mashable follow ''idol'' runner-up will tmz newsroom mlb younger spend thing google’s form 2.

PLANS THE ARE EXPERIENCING

younger dita red have had some him. astro time. summertime has been sustainable white who had dots ensemble. health-care reform heats writes 2009 older

CRAZIEST BRUNO STUNT HOOKER

 dose reduction web site rapradar.com rapper: "i'm it. marking retaliate

BUILDS CARBON MODEL PALIN OBAMA'S NBA: GAME 2 TV RATINGS GENITALS

spread sex appeal are here appear us training savage. new botox competitor, dysport, wasteland how corp.

Wilkin's coffee will wish you into the cornfield

"As to advertising, it insults the intelligence of the viewer. It is geared at know-nothings ... About the only clever advertising on the air today is 'Wilkins and Wontkins'. It pleases rather than irritates television audiences, and I am happy to learn that this series is bringing increased sales to the sponsor."
-John Marshall Butler (R-MD) February 19, 1959

If you've ever wanted to see Muppets get shot in the head, but don't have a copy of Meet the Feebles handy, you no longer have to go 50 years into the past.

Thanks to PoeTV.

Batman, do you think I should take the summer off?

Okay, I'll sign up for that Fireworks class online.

(Thanks , Chris.)

Spam folder full of Anime characters and Old Ones

(Click to embiggen. It's less cromulent that way.)

So, while I was making sure my lab partner's e-mails weren't coming back as spam, since I'm (greylisted?) on her e-mails (all bounces, all the time), I checked my Spam folder.

Good God.

• Maude Nubia
  
• Alva Corcoran
  
• zhian-naittats
  
• Daragh-izlepmel
  
• Anastacia Saturnina
  
• Gertha Emma
  
• Shu Azalee
  
• Logan Loris
  
• Mongillo
  
• Anjanette Rona
  
• Ka Karmen
  
• Jarkko
  
• Chantle-bodemcon
  
• Windy Elva
  
• Mireya Pei
  
• Tamiko Beckie
  
• Min Margherita
  
• Barrie Krystal
  
• xoxhownwvxox
  
• Marcy Sumiko
  
• Ahmed Moses
  

The assortment of Rolex Replicas (I'm playing him in the next Mekton game I'm in) and \/|A5R/\ adds I'm fine with. (The L3g3L Windows and cheep software ads I'm not. I'm looking at you, Smith Micro. All of your e-mail are belong to spam.)

But having JARKKO tell me "Put her on fire" , or MONGILLO say "She'll eat you all day" sounds fairly disturbing.

This happens all the time

So, while linksurfing, I came upon The Slow Down.

Slow Down is a sound recorded on May 19, 1997, in the Equatorial Pacific ocean by the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. The source of the sound remains unknown.

Now, most people are familiar with the Bloop (50° 0′ 0″ S, 100° 0′ 0″ W), since it got some decent publicity. A lot of fan-boys said it was R'lyeh, it's been used as a promotion for Cloverfield, etc.

Well, I looked at where the Slow Down was pinpointed (15° 0′ 0″ S, 115° 0′ 0″ W ). 

Now back in 1992, I was fresh off Magick in Theory and Practice,  and all-ready to open my mind up to whatever wanted to sign it out for  a while. If there had been any good books about Austin Osmond Spare at the time, I probably wouldn't have tried automatic writing as the method of communication.

So, I sat down with a paper and pencil, relaxed, put on some Talking Heads, and waited for things to start out.

By the time Side B of Stop Making Sense kicked in, I woke back up. I had drawn on three sheets of paper. The first was an angular hand, holding a brazier in three fingers, standing in a cavern, surrounded by hooded figures. The second was a mass of scratches, and numbers in the middle of it. Being one year sort of the internet, I tried plugging the numbers in the Map application (Damn you System 7. I might not have realized otherwise.) Somewhere off South America. 

The third was an Illustration of Zoth-Ommog, and some co-ordinates in Germany. Completely Meaningless.

Death to the new flesh!

Long live FACE BANK!

No post escapes the Red Wolf!

So when GI Joe became Action Force in the UK, some of the Cobra characters were renamed. Destro became Red Jackal, Wild Weasel became Red Wolf, etc.  I have yet to see an explanation for why he's fling around in a Goddamn  Skull Tie Fighter. I have less explanation for why there isn't a toy of it for me to buy.

Sweet weeping Jesus, no wonder they send SAS troops after Cobra, anyone else would surrender to a picture of that thing.

Read more at Blood for the Baron!

Bonus:

Edit: Oh, God, it exists. If I wasn't half-toy collector, half-Lovecraft fan, I'd be a broken man right now. They gave these to children? Behold, the ROBOSKULL!