Frontal Robotomy

G.I. Joe customs : EoS core dump

2011-12-10T01:52:00.001-05:00

Now the semester is over, I can finally relax and muck around again. (No twelve hour days! No console.logs! No Flex licensing SystemFlippers and SIGSEGV errors!) Wave 3 just hit, and Wave 4 is on it's heels.

(Insert Daffy Duck's "Mine, all mine" speech here)

Not pictured, another trooper and techno-viper. Fortunately for my Army-building self, the only other collector in the area seems to be a One-of-Each guy.

Hey, how about that trailer?

PRESIDENT ZARTAN.

Chock full of ninjas and Vipers. Cobra White House.
So eager to get a Jinx, and I'm hoping the Amazon Roadblock is a '86 tribute.

Everybody is a WIP. I hardly have the presence of mind / temperature to prime right now.

Cobra de Aco / Steel Cobra : I made a Steel Cobra before, with a Flash body and Snake-Eyes head, all classic stylee. Then I went looking through GeneralJoes Mission Brazil review, and saw the picture of him with some B.A.T.s, and thought back to KrushViper's Cobra de Aco, as well as my plan to use the RoC Flash as a base, and had a spare Cobra Commander torso, and he came together.

The hardest part will be color-matching that yellow on the torso.

Recipe : Cobra Commander torso, Cobra Commander head, Flash arms, BAT legs.

Frag Viper : Once I saw the Firefly torso (and the bit about his Predator helmet being a 360 degree sensing device), I thought about the Frag-Vipers. I just needed some arms with a good range, and some fairly baggy pants (the Jungle Duke legs seemed too thin with the torso.)

Recipe : Firefly head and torso, Firefly arms, Shock trooper legs, Duke/Stalker webgear.

Guillotine : I originally went with a Lamprey, but it didn't seem as buff as he's depicted (Why, he's almost as big as MAJOR BARRAGE). I can't do the spine-sword with a straight face, but I need something for the belt.

Honestly, I'm down with Cobra-La, but that mall Goth pig-sticker leaves me cold.

Recipe : Copperhead torso and upper arms, Nemesis Immortal lower arms, Terra-Viper hands, Heavy Duty legs.

HEAT Viper : I've seen two HEAT Viper concepts I've liked, Sgt. Humpty's and Ratfink's. A local preponderance of Charbroils pointed me towards the former.

I've still got to work out a helmet, and I think the Ripcord gear works as battle rattle (I'd rather keep my ammo on my hips instead of my boots...)

Recipe : Charbroil, Cobra Commander head, Ripcord gear.

Heli-Viper : I've been planning for this guy ever since I picked up the Snow Serpent Officer from the Ice Cutter.

Recipe : Techno-Viper arms and torso, Snow Serpent Officer head, Copperhead legs, Jungle-Viper gear

Ice Viper : The WOLF was a favorite vehicle of mine as a kid, and I got a spare Arctic HISS Driver in a trade, so it seemed an easy custom. But, I didn't like the usual Duke bandolier, and saw another customizer use Firefly's demo vest. (Which I intend to use for my eventual Avalanche as well.)

Recipe : Arctic Hiss Driver , Frostbite hands, Firefly vest, Cobra Trooper head

Night-Vipers : A while ago, I traded for some Shock Troopers to make blueshirts from. Now that they've been in a few replenishment waves, blueshirts are dead common (and I never got enough Wv3 Snake-eyes to finish the project...), I've retasked these guys as Night-Vipers.

I still have to modify the pegs on the Jungle-Viper scopes to get them to fit the Wild Weasel helmet, and I've got to get a couple more RoC Snake-eyes belts (the dagger across the chest.)

Recipe : Shock Trooper torso and arms, Jungle Viper gear and upper legs, Snake-Eyes lower legs, Wild Weasel/Cyber-Viper heads.

Night Vulture : The Glider pilots were some real weirdos, so I doubt even the club will touch them. Still need something for that upper torso.

Recipe : Para-Viper, Alley-Viper lower arms and legs, Snake-Eyes head

Pathfinder : I picked up a spare Doom Rider on clearance, once I realized he had glasses and a black shirt, and might work for Pathfinder. Later I decided the Jungle Duke camo would look decent, and thought the Wild Bill hat would make him a little more Col. Kilgore.

Probably swap out the lower arms, since those black swivels never look right.

Python Trooper : I've been kitting out Python Patrol / Mission Brazil themed figures, since the 2011 Convention set is a distant fantasy (and I disagree with the recipes, as you'll see once I put up my Leatherneck.) PLus it gives me an excuse to make "PoC" versions. I'll have to use the older web-gear if I make more than two of these guys.

Recipe : Steel Brigade Delta torso and arms, Snake-Eyes legs

SAW Vipers : So Zartan v3 was made out of SAW Viper parts, and one of the first SAW Viper customs I saw repainted a Zartan v13. So when I saw the Cyber Viper, I thought back to the Python Saw Viper. A couple spare Duke heads, and the newer Beachhead vest (from Double Clutch in this case.)

Recipe : Cyber-Viper, Wild Bill helmet, Beachhead vest

Shipwreck : Revisiting my old LBC with a Steel Brigade torso and some Renegades Duke legs. I'm a big fan of that Spy Troops/VvV/Devils Due look, and I thought it would work in his old colors. Also, Recondo holster.

Sneak Peek : Swapped out that chunky Pit Commando vest for one from Renegades Ripcord.

Spirit : Once I saw the Steel Brigade running change, I thought of my old Spirit project. Still not 100% on the Billy Sole head, and I may trim some of the gear for shinier, PoC/30th versions. Still have to put a knife in for the holster slot.

Changes : Steel Brigade torso and upper arms, Steel Brigade legs and knee-caps

Steeler : Stalker, Snake-Eyes, and Hawk got some new version love, and I wasn't a fan of 25th's James Garner looking version. I had a version with Wild Bill's torso, but modern tankers wear more of a jumpsuit. Not a 100% on a head.

Recipe : Steel Brigade Delta torso, Skydive legs, Steel Brigade vest

Stretcher : For an Olympic weight-lifter, Stretcher looked kind of scrawny. And I had a different idea for Hardball than the usual RoC Repeater swap.

Recipe : Recondo torso and upper arms, Repeater head and lower arms, Tomahawk legs, Alley-Viper helmet.

Vector : I mostly remember Laser-Vipers from the GI Joe arcade game, but one popped up in Cobra's Emo Spec-Ops unit. I guess he spins all the Joy Division tracks.

That backpack is pieced together from Duke's backpack and two barrels from Jungle-Viper anti-material rifles.

Recipe : Star-Viper, Lamprey upper legs, Barbeque lower legs

Wide Scope : I picked up an Air Raid with those legs in mind for a Wide Scope, and once I get a spare Law&Order, he'll have a Lamont. I'll probably whip up a 30th looking Shockwave to go with him.

Recipe : Shock Trooper torso, arms and head, Air Raid legs, Beachhead vest.

G.I. Joe customs: Space is the place (to punch Destro in the face)

2011-10-18T02:20:00.001-04:00

Finally pulling myself into corporeal form after weeks of twelve hour days and most of my department flitting off to conferences this last week. The hardest part was one of the kids deciding to set the audio to Dubstep one day (the latest incarnation of the shitty music kids listen to because the adults hate it). Not to say I'm an adult, but frankly, I lurve Tokyo-style Speedcore, but I wouldn't expect other people to, or put it on at work.

Speaking of hating music, Rory doesn't read this, so I can put on some Sun-Ra:

(I know, but I like the chorus on Nuclear War more. )

Astro-Viper (wip) : The Cobranaut holds a special place for me. On Spring Break that year, I saw one on the peg at Eckerd Drugs. I had stopped collecting GI Joes after the movie, but the thought of a Cobra Astronaut hit my sweet spot. I didn't buy another Joe until the 1997 Cobra Command Team.

The leg armor is vaguely remembered from an Ares article on combat astronauts for Top Secret.

Recipe : Charbroil torso, MARS Trooper legs, Astro-Viper helmet, Skydive and Dusty webgear. BACC backpack as placeholder.

Black Dragon Ninja : I picked up the Ninja Battles pack on sale years ago, and liked the techno-ninja look of the Black Dragon Ninja (which comes from painting a dragon on an Iron Grenadier's chest...)

Like I said, the Temple Snakes eyes is a great bundle of parts.

Recipe : Iron Grenadier torso, Temple Snake Eyes limbs, Alley-Viper head, CS Snake-Eyes belt, Destro scarf.

Countdown (wip) : Whereas Payload is a more realistic looking astronaut (at least, he looks like he'd fit in Alien), Countdown looks more Flash Gordon. And that's alright by me.

I'd like to turn up an original Countdown helmet, which is a sweet piece of work.

Recipe : Duke torso, RA Duke limbs, Ace helmet, Durge backpack.

Dice : I've been looking a Dice customs trying to decide on a decent secondary, and these two persuaded me the Storm Shadow/Red Ninja harness was the way to go.

edit : I'm not the only one thinking that harness.

Iron Grenadier Trainer Roddy Piper (wip) : I watched a lot of Wrasslin as a kid, (also Rock n' Wrestling) and I earnestly want to thank whoever decided the Rowdy One was Sgt. Slaughter's opposite number and working for Destro.

I've got to finish dremelling out the space for the neckball, so his head should set a little further down. I went the opposite of Sgt. Humpty, and used the IG legs.

Recipe : Temple Snake-eyes torso, Snake-eyes arms, IG legs, Cobra Commander jacket, Build n' Brawl Roddy Piper head.

Iron Grenadier (wip) : When the 25th IGs came out, I couldn't get behind the Battle Armor CC body. I cannot for the life of me find out who did it, but someone made a custom using the Reactive Armor body, and that's what got me.

I'm using the Tavor TAR-21, which the IGs used in the Spy Troops/Valor vs. Venom era. I may paint some more red patches on it.

Recipe : Reactive Armor torso and arms, Iron Grenadier legs, gear and head.

Overkill : Cyborg who wants to destroy organic life? How could I not like this guy? Watched the VvV movie, where GI Joe fight werewolves (again), and came away digging Overkill more than in Sigma 6.

I have to credit General Hawk for the head (I've got to dryrush it a little, since he's looking a little Mr. Beef.) I took a little nail polish remover to the black part of the RoC CC torso. Badab Black and Chestnut wash, cleaned up with Isoprophyl alcohol.

Recipe : RoC Cobra Commander torso and head, Wraith legs and upper arms, BAT lower arms, Resolute CC helmet.

Payload (wip) : Never having the Defiant as a kid, I only remember him from the Marvel appearances (so I was surprised to find out he was white as a toy.)

I've seen JpnX's Astronaut, and I liked the Snow Serpent legs. Mostly, it's a matter of finding a use for the Skydive gear. I've got to work up the snuff to cut off that re-breather.

Recipe : Arctic Snake-Eyes arms and torso, Snow Serpent legs, Skydive secondary, Ace helmet.

Skymate (wip) : The glider pilots are obscure dudes, and therefore at the top of my to do list.

I'm not sure what to do about the hat/headgear, except not make it hot pink.

Recipe : Mutt arms and torso, Thunderblast legs, Breaker head, Cobra officer webgear.

Harvest Moon

2011-09-11T01:24:00.000-04:00

G.I. Joe customs : Slice, Dice, Baby

2011-09-07T00:44:00.001-04:00

Dice : I saw a Dice custom a while back that used Para-Viper parts for the torso and upper legs to cut paint rub. I had to make a few changes from the Temple Snake-Eyes parts out of sheer cussedness. And with a ninja, I didn't have to figure out what those arm blades were for.

Still not a hundred percent on web-gear. The Firefly harness just seems too cramped.

Recipe : Para-Viper torso, upper legs, lower arms and head, Storm Shadow upper arms, Jungle Viper lower legs.

Slice : The other half of Cobra's ninja bros. I made a one with a Marvel Universe figure, but it doesn't look right. He came about from some parts juggling from an Air-Viper and the Wild Weasel below.

Recipe : Red Ninja torso, Air Viper upper arms and legs, Resolute Trooper knees, Jungle Viper lower legs, mask from Temple Guardian Snake-Eyes, CS Snake-Eyes hands,.

Wild Weasel : After seeing Stronox's lower arm swap, I figured I had to do something about those goofy Snow Job arms. I was thinking of making a more Marvel comics flavored WW, and had been playing with an Air-Viper to do it. I noticed the lower arms were the same color plastic, and easy-peasy. Swapped the hands onto the new arms and away.

Recipe : Air-Viper lower arms, Cyber Viper helmet.

Zarana : I said I'd find that MU Storm jacket. For those Spy Troops fans out there.

G.I. Joe customs : Got to get tough

2011-08-30T16:00:00.000-04:00

Metalhead : I mostly remember him from the time he played mid-boss at the battle of Benzeen, but he seems most notable for being a spaz in the DiC cartoon.

I prefer the v2/v3 body, but I wanted a v1 styled head. I had started shaving down a Ripper head, but I had a James McCullen IX sitting around, so I shaved part of the mustache, and added some greenstuff.

I may repaint the gauntlet gold so it blends in better. I'd didn't dig the grey on the v3, so I made the leg armor gold.

Recipe: Pilot Destro arms and lower torso, Arctic Destro upper, James McCullen IX head, Firefly legs, Copperhead belt, Low-Light goggles

Tracker (unproduced Night Force version) : Actually painted, trimmed down the cheeks from the Cyclops head. May paint the visor yellow like the DiC version, since the red sort of drops out against the black.

Mirage : GI Joe's Bio-Artillery/Rocket-Fire/Weapons Expert. I saw someone use the Recondo lower legs making him, and I had a Jungle Duke with a bandana, and everything went together. I plan to make my Repeater more Colonial Marine, so I figured I had to make a Mega Marine to hang with him.

Recipe : Beachhead torso and arms, Recondo upper legs, Destro lower legs, Duke head, Shocktrooper webbing

Night Creeper : Like the Range Vipers, the Night Creepers are great army builders that aren't easy to army-build. I've got a few CS Snake-Eyes whose legs I've swiped for Sand Vipers, and I dig the wv3 Storm Shadow (except for that spring-loaded torso).

Recipe : CS Snake-Eyes torso and arms, Storm Shadow legs, Shocktrooper head, Night Creeper head-wrap, Cyber-Viper armor

Storm Shadow vs. Gaddafi

2011-08-27T01:19:00.000-04:00

NATO recently deployed Storm Shadow against a C3I bunker at Sirte

"Storm Shadow is optimized for pre-planned attacks on static targets, whose positions are accurately known before the mission. (bridges, airbases, radar installations, communications hubs, port facilities, bunkers etc.) With long-range and efficient stealth design, Storm Shadow can eliminate strategic components of enemy defensive systems, without risking manned aircraft."

(Edited from the SCALP EG page at Defense Update)

G.I. Joe customs: North American Zarana Monopoly

2011-08-09T23:39:00.001-04:00

So last Wednesday, that blessed package arrived from Hasbro Toy Shop:


A choir of angels sang "Golden Age of Leather"

Someone must have talked with the packing department (the complaint I've heard most often online is "Mai produkt not mint case fresh A bloo bloo bloo would not do busnizz aga1n"), since it was tightly packed with crushed Kraft paper. Delicious, Minty Fresh. It lasted a minute after this picture was taken.

I'm happy to see her weed-whacker has a nice modern M4-style stock, and her dagger looks like new tooling (I think the only old tooling is Resolute Scarlett/Helix lower legs, and Ripper's rifle.) I'll have to fab up an appropriate backpack. After looking at her upper arms, I regret not getting the variant for fodder, since they'd be spot on for a Ninja Force Scarlett.

Zarana : I just added the red shoulder holster from PP Copperhead, with the side strap cut off. A Reso Trooper backpack is filling in for her backpack.

May paint up a Beachhead pack, and once I dig up MU Storm's vest, I'll try it out.

BAT v4 : Did a little painting again, to touch up some RIT dye. Had just about enough to block out the torso on this guy. Still have to dig out the Air Viper from the RoC Night Raven for those lower legs. Man, I dislike paint rub.

Blackout : Relented on the funky arm armor, after I realized the Elite Viper arms would work with some dying.

I favor dying when I can, since it colors the swivels and joints, effectively cutting down the paint rub. I'm sure it sounds weird for a guy with a painting degree to bitch about painting, but I don't have arm swivels on masonite. Sanding down joints, top-coat, such a pain.

I admit, I've not tried Future or superglue as coats, but I've had them recommended. I've also had better bite from Model Master Acryl brush-on primer (4680), than the spray primers I used before.

Motor-Viper : Speaking of paint rub, I switched the upper legs to Shock wave/blast uppers. The dark blue matches better, as well.

Slice : A while back, I made a Slice from a MU Hand Ninja, MU Ms. Marvel sash, and a head made from Cobra Commander's head, some screen, and greenstuff. I'm waiting for the new Storm Shadow to start redoing the ninjas, but I still like the height on this guy.

Mask courtesy of Temple etc. Snake-Eyes, who is a great bundle of parts (not such a great figure).

Swamp-Viper : When the early shots of the Desert Extreme Environment Pack came out, one of the figures was a Croc Master with an AVAC head, Battle Armor Cobra Commander's backpack, and the sword and three-section staff from Snake-Eyes v34. Wow.

Having seen that majesty, I was a little disappointed by the Swamp-Viper we got from the Sting Raider set. He still had a swag paintjob, though. The arms got a black RIT bath. I may dip the helmet later, since it looks much too clean, now. Badab Black for the wash.

Recipe : Croc Master body, Swamp-Viper arms and head, Battle Armor Cobra Commander backpack.

GI joe Customs: A message from the Action Man

2011-08-03T02:40:00.001-04:00

I admit, the need for world-building I used to release through RPGs has mostly been channeled into G.I. Joes. From reading Joe related fora, everyone seems to have a "Joe-verse". Post-apocalyptic, near future, retro, no ninjas, Tier-1 Operators only, everything goes.

I'm apparently one of the few people who embraces Sunbow and Comic and Toy versions of GI Joe (I'm a little hazy on DiC, though.) It makes an odd time deciding who I want to have figures of, though.

I'm definitely waiting on that new Kwinn figure (the last one was one of the few I got during my Joe fast), and there's finally a Dr. Monev Venom figure. But there's so many one off characters, I'm not sure where to start sometimes. (Although when I see someone make a Bongo the Balloon Bear, it's heartening to me.)

For that matter, there's the White Clown, who bears a striking resemblance to the Thin White Duke:

Action Man : Action Man was the British GI Joe, and I found out about this when catching the version 2 Animated series (Where he had probability vision, seeing mathematical formula over everything. Take that, Helix and Amadeus Cho.)

Around this time, Action Man took over for Tracker in a TRU Night Force 6 pack. (Head on over to Joe Declassified, and read the story in Issue #1.)

Why the Daniel Craig head? They released a series of Action Man figures dressed as James Bond, so it seemed a good choice. As for Ice Storm, as much as I like new Joe characters, I can pop the head off a Frankenstein and not break a sweat.

Recipe: Ice Storm body, Golden Compass head

B.A.T. v4 : Ahhh, BATs. Finally, someone the Joes could shoot. The v3s don't do much for me, and I've got an Iron Man figure to beat into a v2.

I was looking at the Air-Viper legs, and though about how spindly they were, and it followed from there to the insectile legs on the v4s. Had to sand the shoulder discs down a bit. I'd like to find a weirder looking head, more Ultron or Briareos.

Recipe : BAT head and arms, Air-Viper/Star-Viper legs, Cobra Commander torso.

Big Bear : The Oktober Guard is one of my favorite factions in GI Joe. (Daina doesn't look like Jackie O would be a tenet in my Verse.)

It took a while for the proper Oktober Guard to get toys, but Red Star (who seems to be a bizarro Colonel Brekhov now) and Big Bear held the pass until they got there. He does occupy Horrorshow's ecological niche, but I'm fine with two green guys who wreck tanks. I'll have to sculpt an ushanka, but I think Outback's head will do a yeoman job.

Recipe : Ace body, Frostbite legs, Outback head. Belt from an Indiana Jones Russian soldier.

Lt. Clay Moore : So in the Sunbow episode "The Traitor", Dusty runs afoul of Clay Moore (even in the Arena of Sport!), who ends up rescuing Cobra Commander in the end. In 2007, the GI Joe Collectors Club made a figure of him promoted to Shock Viper Commander.

YES!

This encapsulates the world building I'm shooting for, and I applaud the club for it. I plan on using the Armored CC body for regular Shock Troopers once I get a head kitted out.

Recipe : Cobra Commander body, Heavy Duty head, Cobra Paratrooper helmet

Crimson Guard : So, in the Sunbow cartoon, the CGs wore gloves. Little things like that bug me. (I suppose you could make a CG Leonard Michaels with a little white paint. I don't think I'm a big enough "Operation Dragonfire" fan to do it.)

Recipe: Crimson Guard, Cobra Commander lower arms and upper legs

Tracker : Once upon a time, it was a right of passage for a Joe customizer to take a Tracker, and make him look less like a Football themed hot dog cart.

I'm planning on making the shirt olive drab, like the Night Force version (you did read that Joe Declassified issue, right?), but leaving the pants black.

Recipe : PP Snake Eyes, Duke arms, Steeler webbing, MU Cyclops head.

Chaos has Paladins now?

2011-07-29T16:49:00.001-04:00

You took the Hardest Gary Gygax Quiz in the World and got 50%!

You are a Gary Gygax Swashbuckler. You are cunning in the ways of Gary Gygax. You've probably been to Gen Con once or twice, and if I searched your house, I bet I'd find a Gary Gygax autograph, a humorous D&D-related T-shirt, and/or a stack of Dragon magazines.

Paladin Code: You completed this quiz without using Google.

Man, I never thought I'd find a reason to reread my Gord the Rogue books.

G.I. Joe customs : Zarana fatigue celebration

2011-07-26T19:31:00.002-04:00

So I survived a visit to Hasbro Toy Shop once the SDCC exclusives went up.

An hour and twenty-six minutes of page refreshes and realizing the credit card processor went down (if I had started with PayPal, I might have got the Cold Slither Zarana I had in my cart.) Not a big loss, since I was interested in parting her out (Legs to Munitia for the stockings, upper body for a Zanya. Ever since I saw the inexplicable cornrows on Scarlett, which might just be oddly wide hair texture, I thought she might be a good Zanya head.)

In Memorium (I'm sure not going to pay upwards of $90 on fodder), let's do our B.A. LeCarre impression, and listen to some Cold Slither:

Create-A-Cobra : I got out of Joe's without getting a Steel Brigade (I sure as hell pored over the ad, picking out weapon proficiencies for myself.), and Create-A-Cobra was way after that.

After I picked up the Wave 3 Trouble Bubble, though, I thought the Elite Viper looked like an extra from a Missy Elliot video, and therefore a perfect candidate for Create-A-Cobra.

Recipe : Elite-Viper body, Firefly/Scrap Iron/Shockwave belt, Air Raid/ Duke helmet, Destro gun

Mainframe : I think I like Mainframe so much because computer dudes are usually portrayed as space cases. Meanwhile, he got a CIB in Vietnam, then went into MIT. Plus, Zarana cared for him, and that might be more impressive.

I'll probably Dremel out the helmet and put it on a CP Hawk head. Mainframe's grizzled, not grisly. I really don't care for the Shipwreck torso, either. Only Tunnel Rat can pull it off.

Recipe : Python Viper torso, Firefly legs, Dataframe (???) head, lower arms, and strap.

Munitia : Another member of Cobra's emo special forces unit, The Plague. (I bet her DeadJournal is all Sylvia Plath quotes, and corpse pictures with Helvetica Bold captions.)

I do like her style though, the funky hip boots from her time as a HISS Driver and the head wrap. Since her figure was a recycled Baroness, I figured I'd follow suit.

Recipe : Baroness body, Helix lower legs, Snake Eyes hood

Spirit : Why not the PoC Spirit? Well,

1. He's Billy from Predator/ Sonny Landham
2. and he'd make a better Dart.

Yes, I know Dart was a Spirit (and I'm not getting into the Airborne discussion again), but Dart is from White Earth, so that's as close to a home town (well, rez.) boy as I'll see in G.I. Joe, so he's on the to-do list.

(And I'm probably the only guy who liked the Spirit vs. Storm Shadow rivalry. So there.)

Recipe : Pit Trooper torso, Night Fox upper legs, Shadow Tracker's bitchin' hands, Spirit arms, lower legs and web-gear.

Speaking of Spirit and Airborne, my favorite panel

GI Joe Customs : We're all Airborne in here

2011-07-20T04:16:00.002-04:00

Another mixed bag, due for some painting.

Blackout : Part of the Family Stall, Blackout is otherwise notable for being part of the Plague, Cobra's Emo special forces unit. I wasn't a big fan of his silver highlights, in part because I went sickhouse with a Testor's silver paint pen as a kid to make my Joes more "realistic". (I think I read the customizing tips Smash the State was talking about.)

I came up with the Firefly vest on Snake Eyes combo trying to make a more "PoC" Airborne. Then I picked up Air Raid, who is supposed to be Airborne, and decided he'd be my Barrel Roll, and decided to use Res. Duke's headsculpt since they're brothers. I do have to make him a redhead.

(Also, if I ever make a Sky Patrol Airborne, I'll name him Air Raid. Hope that clarifies things.)

Recipe: Snake Eyes, Firefly vest, Res Duke head, Low-light goggles.

Ripcord : So, in addition to Zartan, Ripcord has been "Halo Jumper" / Airborne, Spc. Altitude (who is Freefall, not Major Altitude) and Marlon Wayans.

Also, Kool Keith is Dr. Dooom is Dr. Octagon is Black Elvis.

Recipe: Spc. Altitude, Kickstart head

(Yes, it's a repainted Airborne head. That's how deep the rabbit hole goes.)

Motor-Viper : I only remember Motor-Vipers from the 87' movie, but the Nitro-Viper didn't do much for me (neither did Nitro-Viper. Yep, another one.)

But when I was taking apart Wv5 Cobra Commander, I realized his arms were pretty boss. I had been thinking of the Resolute Trooper arms, instead of going with Zartan uppers for the shoulder armor.

Recipe: Nitro-Viper head, torso, lower legs, Wild Bill upper legs, Cobra Commander arms.

Escorpiao Voador : "Flying Scorpion" was part of the Brazilian Sky Patrol, and was made from Cesspool, Scoop and Recoil, none of whom have ME equivalents. With a different head, he could be the base for a Tigor, as well.

I'm fascinated by the international Joes, and especially new characters and backstories (Snake-Eyes is an alien Invasion force! Also a Harlequin Cyborg! Also Ragnar Ragnarsson of the SAS! ) That segues into the next guys...

Recipe: Air Viper torso and arms, res Duke legs, Night Fox webgear, Heavy Duty head (can remember which version, one has too short a neck hole though), Alley Viper helmet. I do have the one from Firefly, but this says "Scorpion" to me.

Gatilho / Trigger : The Python Gunman is another Airborne repaint, and one of two new Python Patrol characters to come from Brazil. I wondered how the Collector's Club would handle him.

And they made an Airborne repaint. Well played.

Recipe: Kickstart body, Airborne head and helmet, Beachhead vest.

Relampago / Lightning : The Python Motorcyclist was a Ripcord repaint. But there isn't a Ripcord you say? Oh yeah...

Once I saw Low-Light, I thought of Relampago's card art, and finding a second Low-Light on the pegs, I thought I'd go for it. Also have to trim the ammo clips on that vest.

Recipe: Low-Light, Firefly vest, Rollbar helmet (wait a minute...)

GI Joe customs : Bench-dependence Day

2011-07-05T01:23:00.001-04:00

Another batch of guys from the bench, in varying degrees of assembly, completion and eigen-states.

One of the things I do is spitball various constructions, which is something I never got until I started customizing. I would see a guy post "Hulk(v21)" or "Deadpool(v44)", and think "Man, you haven't got it right, yet?" (Ha, ha, ha, what a maroon I am.) Now, I see a figure coming out months from now and think "If I had those gloves/feet/pistol/helmet/kneecaps, I could make ____ even better."

Grand Slam : The H.A.L. was the first Joe vehicle I had (Anyone think I wouldn't go for the laser cannon given half a chance?). Add in the file card, and I signed up for F.O.G.S. day one. Why am I complaining that a repaint of Flash ends up being a repaint of Flash most of the time? I'd just like a "better" one (Which ends up being the same argument made about Cobra De Aco customs...). Anyway, once I saw the red pads and black gloves, something clicked.

Still need to find a good deep Green color, and paint the wraps black. May swap out the legs with Shadow Tracker after I see Operation: Blast-Off.

Recipe: Duke torso and upper legs, Lift Ticket arms and lower legs, Deep Six head.

Major(s) Bludd : Boy, was the single-card Major Bludd a fizzle. I'm okay with the Sunbow colored one from the DVD set, but that head-sculpt is sort of ... underwhelming. I'm not sure Mutt is a better option, but it's not worse. On the right, is my try at Chinese Major Bludd, with a General Hawk torso, and on the left, well, man I love that Duke torso.

Recipe: Double Clutch arms and legs, Mutt head, Alley-Viper helmet.

Red Spot : Another guy from the New Sculpt era, Red Spot is another Joe laser trooper. He's also got one of the most nerd-insulting file cards I've seen. I might have to take a couple pins off my beanie for making him.

Recipe: Dusty torso, Footloose webgear, Sandstorm helmet.

Sandstorm : Poor bastard was born dead.

(His character was supposed to be introduced during the RoC Target wave 3, as a GI Joe MP. Then in PoC, Zartan came with his outfit, and un-masked head, having killed him and assumed his identity. The funniest part is Wave 3 got cancelled, so...)

Also, gonna repaint those horrible hands.

Recipe: Sandstorm body, "Sandstorm" head and vest

Sneak Peek : Poor dude has been the "fat kid" of GI Joe for many years. His card art looking like Jon Lovitz couldn't have helped. Folks should get to know him.

I made one of the standard "Vehicle gunner / Scrap Iron with a Scrap Iron vest" versions, but wasn't too satisfied. So I went with Bazooka legs and tried to go for a Night Force color scheme.

Recipe: MARS Trooper body and upper arms, Duke lower arms, Bazooka legs, Pit Commando vest, Rollbar helmet

Toxo-Viper : Made before the Dukes of Hazard-Viper was announced, and before I got a Volcano Viper (everyone's favorite guy to make a Toxo-Viper out of, and canon in Canada). I bought an Arctic Shipwreck to use the head for Frostbite, and thought it might make a decent approximation of a MOPP suit (or a Cobra knock-off. I refuse to believe Destro makes the "leaky-suits")

It was also, obviously, my first go at RIT dying (and finding out those harder upper legs don't take dye well.)

Recipe: Arctic Shipwreck, Beachhead mask (since the original helmet doesn't fit, which is what I was shooting for with the collar.)

Windchill : JIM STEEL. How Adventure Team missed this guy, I don't know.

Sadly, there aren't a lot of coat torsos (Resolute Cobra Commander? RoC video game Destro?), so I went with Duke's techno-harness. May swap the legs once I get my Cold Front further along.

Recipe: Duke torso, MARS Trooper lower arms, Greenshirt head, Ace legs.

When the birds sing

2011-07-03T05:50:00.001-04:00

Gi Joe customs : Dye another day

2011-06-30T23:04:00.001-04:00

In my war against paint-rub, I've been trying vinyl dyes. Rustoleum Gloss Blue and Dupli-color Desert Sand vinyl coating, to be precise. The main difference is solvent, the coating using Toluene and the dye using Acetone, the troll of solvents.

Most of the articles I've read online recommend the dye and not the coating, but the joints that rubbed off were from the dye, while the coating stayed intact. I've had good luck with Rit dyeing, so I might just dye the swivels and see how it looks.

WiP note: Why not finish painting these guys before putting them up? Mostly because everytime I photograph something, I notice what I've got to touch-up...

Double Clutch : My disappointment with the PoC VAMP was with the baffling Clutch/Double Clutch (The brown Lamprey/Snow Job parts are otherwise great for one specific reason.) I never had a VAMP mk2, but in most of the Sunbow series, Clutch used his v2 outfit, so I really wanted one.

The Duke 43 arms are great short-sleeve arms, something the 25th/ME figures came up short on.

Recipe: Double Clutch torso and head, Duke arms, Zartan legs, Clutch vest

Scrap Iron : I credit Alexx Shorts for the thought of "PoC" Scrap Iron. I had some left-overs from a trade where the other guy wanted a Destro with the Iron Grenadier armor, and I grabbed another Iron Grenadier and an Arctic Destro and behold. For a character I've described as a jerk, I've made a few Scrap-Irons...

Recipe: Arctic Destro body, PoC Iron Grenadier vest, City Destro shoulder-pads, Scrap-Iron head

Desert Range Viper (Operation M.O.T.H.) : The Range-Viper is such a great figure, but it's pretty hard to army-build him. I do have a couple RoC Fireflies and spare Resolute Troopers (congratulations on making a trooper I don't care to army-build, Hasbro), and I don't mind an Alley-Viper with different lowers, but I do have to make another helmet for this guy.

Recipe: HoH Firefly body, PoC Alley Viper lower legs, Tunnel Rat holster, Dusty cape

Sand-Viper : Of all the JvC/Spy Troops molds, the Sand-Viper is the one I'd most like to see a new version of. I thought the Dusty mask was a good fit for the Sand-Viper muzzle, and I've got the parts to whip up a v5, v4 (with the wv5 CoCo torso) and a v2.

Recipe: RoC Cobra Commander torso, CS Snake-Eyes legs, PoC Firefly arms, Dusty masked head, Helix belt

Wu-Tang is half the battle

2011-06-29T04:50:00.002-04:00

As the AV club announced, RZA is now Blind Master in the new GI Joe movies. (Followed by the Internet freaking out, and not being able to tell the Hard, Soft and Blind Masters apart. I'm just happy we're not getting the Faceless Master. )

I do disagree with "only one issue", though. He had a whole arc training Billy, breaking the Joes out of a Borovian gulag, and finally getting iced by Zartan. (Part of a Proud Tradition.)

Another satisfied customer

My only complaint is we probably won't see a blind ninja break some fools with a ball-peen hammer and a grenade.

bi-monthly post time: GI Joe customs edition

2011-06-27T15:00:00.001-04:00

Winter is a drought period as far as customizing goes, since I don't have a well-ventilated place to paint. I've also been feeling generally wretched, until a wonderful vacation after the semester ended at Jeff's place. Also, I've felt sort of off about running my blog updates in my friend's Buzz feed, since I want to talk GI Joe, and no-one I know could give a rat's ass on the topic. So, I've stopped syndicating it to my Buzz, and I feel better for it.

Anyway, I've got a pile of guys on my bench, in assorted states of Frankensteining, so I'll start with the decently finished ones, and start on the WiPs and half-painted ones later.

Crazylegs: Everyone's problem seems to be the Sandstorm head, and the Snow Serpent legs. When I was putting him together in my head, I thought Copperhead legs would be the way to go, but no way do I want to try and color-match that French Grey he's painted in. Maybe I'll make a Night Force version sometime.

Changes: PoC Blowtorch head, Lift-Ticket helmet.
(Yes, I'm the guy who didn't get a Blowtorch. Sorry, everybody.)

Python Patrol Copperhead: After seeing a Resolute Copperhead, I decided I had to make a more imposing looking Copperhead. Originally, I went with a Sgt. Stone torso, and Copperhead legs, and a spare Shadow Tracker vest (spare since the first one I got was missing the knife sheath, Bazooka Trooper style.)

Then I decided to do some Python Patrol customs, and I swapped to the PP Copperhead body, and covered up that awful Roadblock torso.

Changes: Sgt. Stone lower arms, Shadow Tracker vest.

Shipwreck: Shipwreck v5 was one of the few Joes I bought during my Joe hiatus (89-07). Somehow the Commando sweater and bell-bottoms worked for me, and after not getting the same satisfaction from the RoC one, I hunted down a spare Snake-Eyes to do this up. Possibly the laziest of Lazy Bastard Customs.

(Yes, I tried 5-pk Shipwreck/Storm Rider legs, but they're meant for wider hips. Also tried the Steel Brigade torso for the color match, but didn't like the arms. May add the fake turtleneck collar, though.)

Recipe: PoC Snake-Eyes arms and torso, RoC Shipwreck head, Comic Shipwreck legs.

Subzero: Who?

Recipe: Snake-Eyes body, Res Destro harness, Arctic Snake-Eyes webgear, Icestorm head.

He'll fight for freedom...

2011-05-03T21:34:00.000-04:00

So I read TheTerrordrome retweeting Dave Willis today:
"It's just like G.I. Joe, but nobody's dressed like a Native American or a football player: http://tinyurl.com/3bkw5ul"

I'm going to skip the Native American part, but I had to fire up Photoshop:

If you're not one of the three fans of Tracker, there's a reason he's there. (And no jersey, damn it.)

At least there's a happy Outlanders fan

2011-03-11T18:31:00.000-05:00

– USS Ronald Reagan was in the region for a long-planned exercise off Korea, but now steaming towards Japan to help.

I'll get in on the fun

2011-03-09T20:20:00.000-05:00

I just read the comments on Jeff's new spells post, and had to do something for Face of Terror.

The circle of life

Tomb of Zodiacula

2011-01-19T16:45:00.001-05:00

Chris Sims put up his response to the Zodiac restructuring up at ComicsAlliance, and it should surprise no-one that I'm a Dracula.

That mans that you draw on others to an almost parasitic extent, and while it's a good thing to rely on your friends for strength, you're not exactly what we'd call a "giver." Instead, your very presence leaves those around you feeling drained, and while they might resent it, they find it awfully difficult to get rid of you once you've got your hooks in.

Even worse, your default mood hovers somewhere between "smarmy" and "pompous," constantly fueled by the fact that you actually have been around a while and learned a lot -- though probably not as much as you think. You consider yourself to be better than most of those around you, and while it's true that you have some talent, it all just makes people want to punch you right in the face.

(Also, I'm a cusssp Cobra Commander, you foolssss.)

There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.

2011-01-07T21:09:00.000-05:00

“I’ll tell you why [religion is] not a scam, in my opinion,” he told Silverman. “Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the tide goes in.”

Silverman looked stunned. “Tide goes in, tide goes out?” he stuttered. O’Reilly pressed on. “The water, the tide—it comes in and it goes out. It always goes in, then it goes out. … You can’t explain that. You can’t explain it.”

- Bill O'Reilly, disproving Atheism

(Post title from Stephen Colbert's response)

Governments are a cowardly and superstitious lot

2010-11-29T17:59:00.000-05:00

Medvedev 'playing Robin to Putin's Batman'

Batman, Incorporated is going better than I thought

Image via lulabellpetunia

Solid Batman Society

2010-11-24T04:37:00.000-05:00

While I was listening to the latest War Rocket Ajax, Sims talked about Morrison's new Batman storyline, and how Batman was inventing Internet 3.0 (Serial Experiments Lain's IPv7 doesn't seem so far-fetched now-a-days), complete with cheat codes. Now, Post-Crisis Batman is the guy who had Brother Eye built, so cheat codes for the internet don't sound any more bizarre than Batman ordering you to become OMAC...


OMAC will fucking wreck your section.

The part that got me was:

Also, all the Gamestop DLC

Now Oracle as the Major, I can get behind, because the next step is....

BATCHIKOMA!

Seal of the Demon BORGES

2010-11-17T16:48:00.000-05:00

BORGES grants conversation with the dead, and aids in the navigation of Libraries and Labyrinths. BORGES will also give knowledge of fictional locations, and books that have not been written, have yet to be written, and will not be written.

(Blame Klint.)

Steve Gerber on GI Joe

2010-11-01T02:25:00.001-04:00

COBRA COMMANDER is CHAOTIC EVIL doing the job of a Lawful Evil character. He's scary because he's completely mad.

DESTRO is Lawful Evil and very bright. Think of Darth Vader. He is infinitely more logical the C.C. Destro is scary beacause he knows exactly what he's doing and why.

(Courtesy of JoeGuide.com 's Production material archive )

Mecha in my Metropolitan Statistical Area?

2010-10-16T05:21:00.000-04:00

It's more likely than you think.


Problem, Officer?

Apparently, the latest episode of Sym-bionic Titan places the alien threat in scenic Sherman, IL, which has traded up from having a decent Mexican restaurant, to having a lakefront (and a drift racing infestation.) I bet Aunt Sue's property values are going up as I speak.

First, Genom built a tower in Chicago, then the World Economic Union built a base for the Flag Fighters up around Peoria, now the Galactic Guardian Group is in my neck of the woods. Things are looking up!

What? Largo, I sent you the link to MapQuest.

Happy Native American Day!

2010-10-11T04:01:00.000-04:00

(This guy? He turns out to be Satan later on. Satan and I are both racist against cowboys.)

(Devilman is crying, because he's about to litter)

Dramatized? Sounds unlikely.

It's Native American Day is South Dakota. I know everybody else celebrates it the fourth Friday in September, but I prefer not to do what Ronald Regan says.

On the plus side, the U of I is doing something about the "Honor the Chief" guys.
(Images from Shin Devil man. Sadly, Glen Danzig's imprint went under before putting this volume out in the 90s.)

Sorry Proto-Unit V3,

2010-09-17T17:21:00.000-04:00

...but Cindi Mayweather is my favorite android now.

(Posted because it's logistically improbable I'll make it to her show next Weds in Champaign. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing Plastician, or Roky Erickson, but Janelle just came on the scene like an atom bomb. Let someone write their own ticket, and they come back with female robot James Brown? Brilliant.)

New York, New York, it's a Hell

2010-09-01T15:53:00.001-04:00

You Swallow These Invisible Shrimp With Every Gulp of NYC Tap Water

I must apologize

2010-08-20T18:16:00.000-04:00

So after my post scoffing at Oxfam, I discovered an organization I support wholeheartedly is involved in disaster relief in the area.

I've already asked the HR-Vipers to deduct 20 gold Fang Shillings from my pay to help out.

(Coooooobra!)

I always feel like somebody's watching me...

2010-08-18T23:50:00.000-04:00

I don't usually mind followers (the joys of Web 2.0), since if I haven't insulted or bored you to death, I'm glad to have you around. But when I was checking my Tumblr dashboard (which I usually don't since the way they implement following means dumping everything in my stream, and if you've got a Tumblr, I've probably followed your RSS, so it pops up in Reader anyway), I saw there was a follower section.

Now, Oxfam doesn't realize there's a reason I post so many disaster articles.

Tony? Take it away...

"I don't believe in 'supernatural' magic," he says. "I believe in 'supernormal' magic, meaning that when certain frequencies are sent out into the ether they affect the human subconscious in much the same way that certain circus tunes make elephants march." LaVey then runs through a medley of "rain songs" - "Singin' in the Rain," "Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella," a dozen more.

"Putting this leitmotif together is magical because I'm the only one who knows it. It sets up a Jungian gestalt. It's called magical superimposition. It's like five characters waiting for a play: I provide the play." LaVey then heightens and sharpens secret magical tonal patterns that he has discovered through years of trial and error. "You get a lot of rain songs together, and imagine all the creative energy, amalgamated creative energy, that went into those songs. Combine that with the emotional energy I produce in playing it. If the audience is right, like the other night in the bar, I can do something very magical because of ego-circuitry."

Proof that magic works? LaVey knew Hatfield the Rainmaker! He saw it work! What is magic today will be science tomorrow, he says, when the effect of biochemical energy is finally understood. He sees proof of magic everywhere. Not just in the return to romantic tunes and nostalgic fashion, but in parking spaces conjured up on the street and good tables appearing suddenly at restaurants, not to mention the San Diego McDonald's massacre and the Mexican earthquake that resulted accidentally after LaVey vented some anger on the keys. He is like a faith healer who has seen too many miracles to doubt. "It's truly frightening," he says.

And now, something different:

You're welcome, Hollywood

2010-08-16T22:40:00.000-04:00

So, the first thing I thought of after Scott Pilgrim's poor boxoffice...

I'm kinda worried about that 15

2010-08-11T12:11:00.000-04:00

The figure is known as "God's number" because an all-knowing entity would know the optimal number of steps needed to solve the puzzle.

"We now know for certain that the magic number is 20," Professor Morley Davidson, a mathematician from Kent State University, told BBC News.

The results suggest that there are more than 100,000 starting positions - of a possible 43 billion billion - that can be solved in exactly 20 moves. However, the majority of solutions take between 15 and 19 moves to solve.

Cheatlog

2010-07-06T22:50:00.000-04:00

I posted a link from Clients from Hell in my Buzz, and Jeff responded that it sounded like a chatlog between Strong Bad and the Cheat. So...

The Dungeon of Doom: A Buttal

2010-06-18T23:49:00.002-04:00

I know you've been waiting for more Bandit Kingdoms reminiscence, but Jeff's re-posting a link to his Notable Features of the Dungeon of Doom article reminded me I never made a proper response to it. I'm not writing it as a rebuttal (It's too negative in connotation, although a broader definition includes clarifying points and telling your side, most people think of the legal overtones), it's just at the time, I only had access to a shared computer, and not the time to write a lengthy reply. Jeff has commented on my memory for these things, and I concur it's much easier for me to remember something a decade ago than yesterday, so bear with me. (Can anyone tell I enjoy the writings of Edward Bulwer-Lytton?)

The Hellevator

Level One of the dungeon had a 10' x 10' room that was actually an automatic express elevator down to level 4. Once down there the elevator didn't come back up for six hours. In its first inadvertent use I described the sound of the elevator operation as "chunga-chunga-chunga". The players grew to associate that sound with deadly peril. I don't think any of my players ever discovered the Lower Hellevator, which led from level six to level ten.

The first time we encountered the Hellevator, the door opened and a Vulchling ran out screaming. That was enough to get us interested. The closest thing to control was you could make a saving roll (I can't recall a target number), to get it to stop. So our encounter became "chunga-chunga-chunga", "make a saving roll", clatter, "nope", "chunga-chunga-chunga". When we opened the doors, we had no damn idea where we were, but we were getting back up the stairs as fast as possible. Eventually, as we cleared more of the dungeon, it became a convenience to get further down without making wondering monster checks. We adjusted fast to horror.

Level 2A

This campaign was the first time most of the players in my group ever found a sub-level. Of course they did it the hard way. After a bad go on level three they were desperate to get out of the dungeon. The PCs rejoiced when they found a new staircase that went up a level. Hours later they finally figured out that this particular level two had no access to level one. Exhausted and lost, they were forced to make camp on an uncleared level. They survived a night in the dungeon only by sharing a room with a large band of gnomes that showed up on the wandering monster charts.

Jim, as I've mentioned, became a survival machine once he was separated from the party. In a fight, he was just as likely to cast Feather Fall on an enemy as Magic Missile. In this paragraph, substitute Jim for Party. In short, I left him to die, and he made friends with the Smurfs.

David the Gnome has had enough of my shit.

After visiting the humble Gnome village, hidden in a cave, Jim announced his plan to further the works of St. Cuthbert by using the gnomes to clear the Bandit Kingdoms of the human infestation. Now,

St. Cuthbert isn't Bizzarro-Wastri.
There's about 50 Gnomes, tops.

I later returned in the night to Fireball them, then close the entrance to the cave with Stoneshape. I had to burn the village to save it.

The Iron Frogs

Instead of the standard pirate booty box, about one treasure chest in six was a hollow iron statue of a frog with a hinged mouth. No particular reason. I just like frogs. The players were mystified.

The hidden room where we first found the frogs was also the only safe place to hole up in the dungeon. Many a night, we spiked the doors, and wondered whether we trapped ourselves in there with Frog Golems.

The Chapel of Evil

Not far from the Hellevator exit on level 4 was the Chapel of Evil, a little subsection of the level kinda like the Shrine of Evil Chaos in module B2. The big difference: the head cleric was a vampire. After a rough initial encounter with the Vampire Evil High Priest and his minions the party withdrew. They came back with more henchmen (including an ogre trained in the art of sumo who was also an expert with the harpoon, IIRC) and more one-shot magic and wasted the place in an epic battle. Good times.

Ray took a trip in the Hellevator, which ended at Level 5. Wounded, he tried to find succor at Dracula's Lil' Chapel of Evil ('cause, he's Ray, and he's awesome like that), and after that battle, he barricaded himself in a room. With two Werewolves. Which worked as well as you'd think.

This level was mostly cleared by our Special Guest Stars. Chris, from Jeff's High School group, came in to play a Druid, because they can Cast Bears. In short order, we defeated Dracula's supply train, murdered a tribe of Ogres and recruited their leader, who went on to stab Dracula while I slow roasted his Cleric, and the bears killed everything else. Also, Tasha the thief got away, later to return as my Lieutenant and commander of my bandits. Sexy, Sexy Commander.

The Druid casts Wall of Bears

After Ray died, and we skirmished with Dracula's ground troops, I hit the lair of a young Red Dragon. Within a couple of rounds, I was fighting a holding action, and as soon as Doc died, Thom knocked on the door, with his monk and dice-bag. After hearing the sitrep, he asked "Can I enter play?" and proceeded to beat the Dragon to death with his kung-fu, used part of the horde to Resurrect Doc and my henchman, Sam. Thom couldn't play again for a couple of years, and came back as a priest of Pyraray, who was a double agent for Tharizdun. Tharizdun owes me 25,000gp and a new temple.

Also, the Ogre Sumai (Ragon of Suubak) came later in the campaign. This one was all Grunty.

The Baleful Stone

No player ever discovered this secret, but the dungeon had an off switch. According to my sketchy notes for the bottom level (nothing below level 8 ever had a proper key and map) the lynchpin of the dungeon was the legendary White Stone of MWOWM, which I totally stole from the Book of the Subgenius (or maybe its sequel, Revelation X). The evil vibrations from this artifact were what drew so many demons, devils, undead, etc. to the dungeon. If the White Stone were removed from the dungeon most of those monsters would leave and eventually only a mindless slimes and vermin would remain to haunt the rooms and passageways. I always imagined that if the players got their hands on the Stone they would try to give it to the elves without them knowing what it was. They were that kind of group.

I guess it should be clarified. The Elves were dicks, so fuck them. Seriously, we teamed up with the Drow, because they were more palatable.

The Pit

On level seven there was a deep pit that led to the level ten lair of a Pit Fiend. Because I am that literal-minded sometimes.

The one room, other than the Gynosphinx's waiting room, that was quiet contained a room with what appeared to be a well. Looking down the well resulted in "A Sulfurous smell, deep laughter, and distant pair of red eyes looking up at you".

Oh, Hell No.

One of Each

Also on level seven, not far from the Pit, was the chamber that served as the rumpus room for one of each type of demon from I to VI. According to the Monster Manual that mix is a legit possibility when encountering demons. I don't particularly like running demons because of all their fiddly special abilities, but I wanted to see the players react to such a grouping. Across the hall was an enclave of mind flayers driven mad by the White Stone. That's right insane mind flayers.

It was scouting level seven that convinced the players it was time for the campaign to shift focus to wilderness exploration and stronghold-building.

As I noted in my comment, the other option on that level was an Ancient Red Dragon, whose son Grunty was wearing. I paid her Gynosphinx secretary 8,000gp to forget we were there.

I challenge any other group to respond positively to the offer of Insane Mind Posse/ Gathering of the Demon-os, with Big Red in the Fresh-Ass Comedy Tent. Also, free shovels.

Bonus Content: Grunty's character Sheet!

Grunty CE, Ogre 2 31,238xp/33200
Hp 45
AC 2
THACO 11

Silver Spetum 11 1d6+4/1d6+4

Club+1 10 1d6+5/1d3+5

Spear 11 1d6+4/1d8+4

Morningstar 11 2d4+4/1d6+5

HorsemanMace+2 9 1d6+6/1d4+6

Boulder 11

STR 18/88

DEX 9

CON 14

INT 7

WIS 8

CHA 6(13)

Paralysis,Poison,Death 11

Rod,Staff,Wand 13

Petrification,Polymorph 12

Breath Weapon 13

Spells 14

Notes:
IIRC, we were using the xp chart from Orcs of Thar (hence Ogre 2). Grunty's CHA is 13 for other Ogres. His AC is 2 due to wearing a Red Dragon's skin. His Horseman's mace later ended up with his half-orc henchman, Pruck Mokutase. A boulder's damage was undefined, but I recall the one time it was used Jeff's response was "That guy's totally dead".

Edit: I'm not good with human names.

Mai Busketo

2010-05-21T01:37:00.000-04:00

So a 5-gallon pail branded with Evangelion graphics popped up in my feeds. It sure seems like some bizarre branding, but with grandad reclaiming the 5 gallon pail he gave me (what makes it funnier, is that, like everything he gives me, he wrote my name and birthdate all over it. When I was moving, he grabbed it and said "Hey, this is one of mine isn't it? and looking at my name in 4" lettering on the side, I said "It sure is."), I am in need of a new one. (Or not.) Looking over it's particulars, I noticed a few things.

NERV is now U.N. NERV, I guess as a nod to U.N. Spacy from Macross.
The pail is Blood Type BASCKET (not Blue, so it's not an angel)

I really can't imagine taking flowers to some one in a 5 gallon pail. Maybe they mean Busket?

(If you think this is the longest stretch I've gone to for a joke, I should introduce myself sometime. )

Happy Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!

2010-05-20T16:07:00.000-04:00

Man, I don't know what got the internet so worked up over Mohammed Ali, but here you go.

Join the Revolution!

2010-05-13T00:40:00.000-04:00

(And blame Bully)

The Bandit Kingdom memoirs, Pt 1

2010-04-17T03:21:00.000-04:00

So Jeff, responding to Zachary the First's comment on his "The Flumph beat this?" post, reminisced about the Bandit Kingdoms campaign. Appealing to my vanity, (and memory, which you can judge while reading this) cause hell, I was a bard after all, Jeff proposed I talk about those days. (Okay, it was in his comments that he proposed I talk about it, but this might be a little easier to digest.)

Originally, Doctor Phostarius, my character, was supposed to go adventuring with Jeff's Bart Bolt in a campaign. You may note Doc seems a little heavy duty, since he started at 6th level, and was outfitted from Bart's adventuring loot, as well as having some "Well, 15 sounds like a good number"statting. As I mentioned before, the DM evaporated, and since I just made a character, Jeff suggested we start recruiting other party members.

The first victim was Jim, from our time at Allen Hall, who we sat down with at the local Mexican restaurant to generate a character, followed by him jumping up from the table and bellowing "I'm the tallest half-elf in all the land!" after a max roll on the height table. If that wasn't our first warning, the name "Bryo Phyta" would have been. Bryo was a half-elf Cleric/Magic-User, meaning we had no real fighting man, Doc being a 2nd ed. Bard. We'd address that after getting some gold, me with hirelings, Jim with fighting dogs "Arf" and "Barf". Jim was "random" to say the least, and I usually say the least about Jim I can.

I suppose I should lay down some ground rules about the campaign before discussing actual play. As Zach says about his group, we didn't play from a primary source. At the beginning, Jeff ran from the 1st ed. AD&D DMG, while players used the 2nd ed. Players Guide. All monster books (MM, MM2, FF)were on the field, and from time to time, Dragon magazine articles were fielded too. Magic was, at my insistence, "know it, and throw it" and without Vancian memorization, spellcasters were much more flexible. "Gandolf was a sixth level wizard" was read, and Basil Polidoris's Conan soundtrack played before big fights. Over time, things mutated, "D&D compatible" games were referenced, the random monster table (I remember it from "Best of Dragon" Vol. 1, where my bandits were statted from as well) entered, Judges Guild products, online articles (this was the late 90's after all), almost anything became fair game.

We started at the stairs down to the Dungeon of Doom (eventually the Mungeon of Moom, when we discovered how messed up (rather, munged together) it was. ) After a fight with some orcs, more of an anti-fight really, since I used a Mage Hand, to which they responded "Oh shit, a mage" and slammed the door in our face, we were riding pretty high. I think it was "strolling right along" that was Jeff's old Dm's line for when a trap was about to be sprung, so we were indeed strolling right along when we got jumped by kobolds. Did I mention we didn't have a Fighting Man, and thus no one to use a "sweep" maneuver? About four rounds of being covered in kobolds later, the first of many after action reports began. A couple more rooms of shit and humanoids, and we went back to town to consolidate our loot.

A pattern emerged over time, with town being a hand-wave away, and not keeping track of encumbrance (it was there, as DM fiat. Jeff would simply declare "that statue is too heavy for both of you to carry" or something similar, until we threw enough money or magic at the problem.) we simply wouldn't spend a night in the dungeon.

We'd gradually map out the current level, check for secret doors, clear survivors, kill any wondering monsters, go back in town, and sell all our loot. Eventually, we'd dealt with enough of the dungeon ecology, we had hirelings to guard our horses, and a wagon to haul conventional treasure (humanoid weapons, spare armor, the rare unburnt tapestry, etc.). SOP was for small unit tactics, the spetum wielding men-at-arms would guard me, while Bryo and the war dogs would close. For larger groups, like the Lizardmen tribe, or the goblins, I would rely on the 10-ft. ceilings and my once-a-day Fireball (7th level, yo) do do the dirty work. For those not familiar with the way things were, a Fireball expanded to fill 33 10ft. cubes. And I was a hell of a firebug.

Many a fight stopped before it began when I asked Jeff "Are they wearing clothes?"or "Do they look flammable?", due to my love of Flaming Sphere and Burning Hands. Greek fire and oil flasks were always on my sheet. This tendency to set all my problems alight led to one of the more memorable encounters in the Mungeon.

We opened a door to a room, and were faced by dozens of goblins, and a Goblin in plate. He nodded, and clanked his visor down. Now, I had a Ring of Fire Resistance (I hadn't drank from the Chalice of Chaos yet) and a Ring of Protection, and I wasn't about to let a goblin think he was my equal. We won initiative, and I cast Fireball. The room was 15x15 or so, so the excess cubes washed over us. Bryo and I survived, while my four footmen, and Arf and Barf didn't. Bryo holds up a dog's burnt corpse in his arms, and I respond "I'm not hungry". If I haven't mentioned I'm a bastard yet, now's the time.

Jim and I slowly chew our way down to the third level or so, occasionally departing the dungeon in dissimilar order. Less charitable types would say I left him for dead, but Jim was Ninja Rain Man when he was by himself. If you were fighting alongside him, and the monster was vulnerable to fire, he would cast Ray of Frost. If you abandoned him in a pit, he would Gaseous Form his way out, solidifying long enough to cast Invisibilty to Undead to get past some Skeletons from earlier.

It's on one of these trips Bryo befriended the Gnomes on level 2.5 (If you've ever been in a library stacks, or worse, U of I STX, you know what I'm getting at.), leading to our escorting the lollipop guild back to their village, and Bryo proposing the great Gnomish Crusade. (Also leading to me later visiting the Gnome village, hidden in a mountain, and Stoneshaping all their air-vents shut before setting the village on fire, and caving in the entrance. It was humane, really.)

Eventually, Ray St. John joined on, and Jim left. We had a couple visitations from Chris and Dave, Chris playing the "Elf-hater" from an old campaign, and another time, Father ****, the Drow Druid. His love for nature was so strong, the plan to ambush one of the emissaries of evil from Dracula's evil temple was "once they're in the clearing, you fireball her", to which I respond "You're telling me your plan is to set the woods on fire?" "Yeah, we kill the girl, and interrogate the half-orc" If you think this sounds like a good plan, you're madder than a sack of assholes.

I'm mentioning this out of order, because the many deaths of Ray's characters are worth a longer post, as was the look on his face when I told him the Drow Druid and I took down McDraculas, an endeavor that killed his first character when we began it.

The Drow Druid (as fine an epithet as any, I keep mentioning it because I still can't believe it a decade later) had two of the largest bears you could possibly have as animal companions, and our first act together was murdering an ogre tribe. You see, I could hypnotize 24 HD worth of opponents, and with a Drow and two bears splitting the throat-slitting, you can get through a pretty good number. We left the Chieftan, who decided working with us would last longer than working against us. Grunty was my kind of scum, he joined the party and moved into Blighton after it was all over. He showed us the employee's entrance, and we commenced breaking Dracula's life.

Now, I'm going to take a self-importance break, and expound on Sam and Tobit for a minute. After charbroiling my last set of men at arms, I had to hire some more, if for nothing else than give Jeff a voice in combat (he ran the NPCs, and I gave orders to them. When necessary, they would wisecrack to keep up the narrative.) Sam and Tobit, after the battle at the temple, would become full fledged, full share, party members. They would carry my body when I got turned to stone, be commanders in my army, and follow me to strange dimensions. During the battle a the temple, they were Zero level.

We entered the temple, picking off guards, and engaging the EHP's remaining henchmen, a cleric, and a female fighter. I took particular pleasure in slow roasting the cleric with a Flaming Sphere. Also, we find out the EHP is a Dracula, when the bears don't do any damage to him, but Sam and Tobit's silver Spetums do (I come prepared). Sam draws Ray's (former) Dwarf's Axe (+1), and hands his Spetum off to Grunty, while the bears kill everyone with a pulse, we turn into an anti-Dracula Kung-Fu movie. With the resident Dracula re-dead, we loot the temple. I bag and tag the female thief's gear, and advertise (Thieves Cant was a viable language selection in the campaign) at the inn, being thanked "as only a 7th level thief could." Tasha later became the Captain of my guard, when her bandits answered the call when I built my keep. (2nd ed Bards, FTW.)

In the future, I'll expound on the change of scale of the campaign, and Ray.

Related posts:
Bart Bolt, comments on Jeff's Blog
Jeff on Munge Mungely

I really should despise stuff like this...

2010-03-31T01:41:00.000-04:00

But, hey kids , the Star Wars does that rapping you're all into.

(The Byronic Man judges will be calling me in the morning.)

4" Face turns

2010-03-29T04:07:00.000-04:00

I've still been working through my to-do list, but took an aside to make two Scrap-Irons. It's not quite as ridiculous as it sounds. I picked up RoC Scrap-Iron and the Ferret awhile back, and didn't mind the odd Cobra Trooper limbs on Viper torso recipe, until I saw the unreleased Wave 16 Scrap Iron. Unreleased Scrap Iron used a Shipwreck torso and Airborne limbs, gave him a holster instead of a knife (Scrap-Iron doesn't seem like an up-close and personal guy), better sleeves, and a more disco collar, closer to his card art (and he originally used Airborne arms and lower legs anyway). Technically, I used Spirit's torso, and Rollbar's limbs, but hey.

Now when I saw the Accelerator suits, the first thing I thought was DTC Scrap-iron (I blame the shoulder armor.) Mine is the top half of a Accelerator Ripcord, with Resolute comic Destro legs.

Now what's up with the title? Scrap-Iron is a mercenary jerk who switched allegiance from Cobra Commander and Serpentor, all the while purportedly working for Destro. And yes, even by Cobra standards he was a jerk:

That's him blowing up the Soft Master (like Yoda, but nicer), Cobra Commander's son Billy (he got better), Candy Appel (Ripcords's girlfriend, Professor Appel's daughter, totally not a porn star) and an NPC.

Now wait, you ask, how do you get better from an Anti-Tank round? Larry Hama, that's why. See, as the franchise continued, the characters got more complex. Tooling around with Destro, Cobra Commander finds out that Billy survived being used as a pawn by the Baroness and Major Bludd, fleeing to train with Storm Shadow and Jinx, and tearfully decides to quit Cobra and become a better father. Which gets him a bullet in the back from Fred VII, then he gets better, and buries everyone who betrayed him alive. Eventually, nearly everybody goes through a change, as Storm Shadow comes back to life in Dr. Mindbender's clone tank, and forgives Snake-Eyes, Baroness learns Snake-Eyes didn't kill her father, and gives up terrorism, Destro gets tired of Cobra Commander's shit ("What's a firefight between old friends?") and Zartan shanks the Blind Master, and re-evaluates his life (stabbing an old blind ninja in an alleyway is far from the worst thing Zartan's done, but whatever.)

Leading up to working-with-GI-Joe Storm Shadow, and Ninja Force Zartan. I know there's already a Storm Shadow 88' in the modern era, but it doesn't have the rolled up sleeves and leg guards, and I do have the original, so I know it had different leg guards, but hey comic books:

Yep, that's some sort of ninja-fasces flying past J. Jonah Jameson's head. I can't find any sort of documentation of ninjas having bundles of sticks (bamboo?) wrapped around their legs, but I'm fairly sure the Arishikage death-trance isn't real either. Anyway, good-guy Storm Shadow uses the body of Arctic Threat Storm Shadow, with the lower arms and legs of Devil's Due SS, with version 25's bow, and the Red Ninja leader's rope and quivers.

And happy Zartan? Partly leftover's from Zandar, Zartan torso/legs w/ Arctic Assault Storm Shadow arms, wearing SRO Wild Bill's vest, hair by greenstuff.

Why would I call him happy? Well just look at him:

Man, everybody's so happy...

Oh yeah, Dr. Mindbender put post-hypnotic loyalty commands ("morality overrides") triggered by Cobra Commander's unmasked face. Which results in Destro and Zartan hunting the Baroness and Billy through Silent Castle, and destroying Darklonia with an ICBM. I told you, Cobra Commander got better.

(I still can't believe people object to the newest re-boot starting from this continuity, instead of Cobra takes over Hawaii, the Red Shadows, or some of the other bizarre continuities. And yes, I consider the G1/G2 Transformers crossovers less bizarre than the continuity where Unicron teamed up with Cobra-La...)

Elder Brother is from Mars, Tangerines are from Tekumel

2010-03-29T02:02:00.000-04:00

If you just skip to 7:45 or so, you lose context for how horrible the Tangerine Sage's powers are.

In Russia, Broom Sweeps You

2010-03-21T03:54:00.000-04:00

No-one seems to be able to explain the broom at 0:13, or what happens to the guy using it. I've seen Flash-Bangs deployed on poles before, but I'd hate to think a Flash-Bang did that. Of course, Russia's deployed Fentanyl in place of Tear Gas/BZ before, so it's a possibility.

Local Newspaper Hip, Relevant

2010-03-20T04:06:00.000-04:00

And, yes, it is fixed by now.

I hit it with my Axe, the beginnining

2010-03-19T02:28:00.000-04:00

High concept: Porn stars play D&D

Today, special guest Sasha Grey, who I only knew as the inspiration for Titan Maximum crewmember Sasha Caylo, learns an important life-lesson: Wizards suck at first level.

I have not been thinking about this for twenty-seven years

2010-03-13T22:28:00.000-05:00

So while looking through cobra.custom's photo stream (Fantanauti Skeletor, that's why), I realized Blackstar's space ship was a Gundam Core Fighter.

Wherein I keep putting off work

2010-03-11T18:33:00.001-05:00

Midpoint of Spring Break already? Just got back from the Illinois State Museum's Alaskan photography exhibit with granddad, which makes an unprecedented two days on the road, only exceeded by our tour of the 1993 flooding. (Hey, I had to blow off steam after senior year. And the last one was in 1927, so shout out to Big C.) Interestingly, Felecia has a giant Lincoln themed sculpture on the way into the museum, so I don't feel so bad about missing her show opening a couple weeks back. (Well, I still feel bad no-one gave a shit about what I wanted, which was to go to her show.)

Speaking of things no-one else cares about, GI Joes. I finally broke down and picked up James Barney, from the Target glider set (Read the file card, and figure out why I empathize enough with the guy to address him by name.) This makes a full run of 82-83 figures in 25th/Modern Era form for me, and the last few 84s I need are commercially available. A few customs are fairly simple (Tan glider pilot Grunt is a headswapped UBP Steeler, with different web gear, for example), but I'll talk about a couple more complex ones.

On the left, my Cover Girl. I've seen a lot of customs use a Lady Jaye body (mostly due to Scarlett's legs being a pain to remove, and being of different construction, I'd imagine.), mostly with an Indiana Jones jacket (or the comic pack Cover Girl jacket) and Hawk sleeves. I'd see a few variations (fur trim on the boots, f'r example), but it seems out of character to make a custom figure that looks like everyone else s version (not saying I haven't or won't, but seeing the same recipe every time is irksome.) I went with a repainted PP Baroness top and arms, Lady Jaye upper legs and belt holster, and Cover Girl boots. (I don't mind Ripcord Wayans, but bad-ass tank driving Cover Girl being a paper-shaker that gets about a minute of screen time before getting shanked by Zartan? That pisses me off.) And topping her off, Pilot Scarlett (nee Glenda with red hair) head. So, basically I made her from every other woman in the GI Joe line. Bride of Frankenjoe, if you will.

On the right, Zandar. Honestly, we haven't seen a Zarana (4 versions) yet, so the chance of Zandar (1 version) is less than zero. Remember how I was complaining about recipes? Well, everybody in Swiss Family Zartan has those armored shoulder pieces, so no escaping that. I did pick up Arctic Assault Storm Shadow, aiming to use his neck scarf, and he ended up being the first torso I've cracked, swapping the Zartan arms onto his scarred torso (and the neck wasn't long enough on Zartan, so there's that, too). The upper legs are Tunnel Rat, and the lowers are standard greenshirt joes (I think a spare Breaker).

So why is Zandar more flamboyant than usual? Simple, I used the Order of Battle illo to work from. I think it's hilarious that a guy whose super-power is no-one notices him to be decked out like a 64 color Crayola box melted on the Road Warrior.

Speaking of flamboyant, Super Ninja (forced transitions are a theme today.)

Superninja here is from Chuck Norris's Karate Kommandos, and is made from a greenshirt Joe, Storm Shadow head (with Doctor hair), Destro arms, and Neoviper legs. I made him because, hey, Superninja.

And yes, I used the gold from the Black Super Ninja with the Purple from regular Super Ninja.

Spring break masking party

2010-03-06T19:44:00.000-05:00

A while back I picked up a Storm Shadow (v33), to check out his legs. More to the point, to compare them to standard Snow Job legs, since I was thinking of turning a Barbeque into a Sonic Fighters Lamphrey. Thanks to yojoe, I know a 25th Lamphrey is an Alpine chest (cannot have), with Snow Job arms and legs. Once I had Storm Shadow, though, I had a thought.

I had seen some 25th Tele-Viper customs where the lower legs were switched out for Snow Job lowers, to make it look closer to the jumpsuits of the original Tele-Vipers. I still wasn't too happy, since the 25th has Viper bracers, instead of bare arms. So I took a Cobra disguise Flint, added Breaker upper legs from training Ripcord (I have a couple Rescue Mission Dukes slated for this too), and the Storm Shadow lowers. The fellow on the left is the base for a Python Patrol Tele-Viper (Tiger Force Flint, with Dusty/Pit Commando legs), who I've been jonesing for since seeing the thread on Joeintel. I had originally slated Res. Gung-Ho for the job, but couldn't find any spares around here. (While I didn't have any cash, I could find piles of them. Once I had money, there was just dust left.) I'm waiting to recover my will to paint yellow (I'll probably try a rattlecan this time), and experiment with masking for the stripes.

Maybe excrement is more accurate than experiment. After a good priming, I laid down a coat of Haze Grey, cut tape for masking, and spayed a coat of German Grey. Now, I don't know if it was the ambient temperature (50F), but there was some bleed from the German Grey. Which meant I had to hand brush to trim out the stripes, which is what I was trying to avoid.

I'm aiming for Relampago, the Forca Naja (Python Patrol) Motorcyclist-Sniper, a Brazilian repaint of Ripcord. Back to that Storm Shadow, one of the comments I've read online was "What's up with the motorcycle jacket?". Well, recalling that Relampago is the "Naja Motociclista" (He shares a name with Zapata's white horse, after all, so I've got to get him a white motorcycle at some point.), I thought motorcycle jacket was exactly right for him.

He's made of the aforementioned v33 Storm Shadow, lower legs from RM Duke, a "Chatum" Duke head, and a helmet from Rollbar. Rollbar, might well become Gatilho at some point, since I'll need a Python Gunman, too.

See you in hell, the party

2010-02-27T03:06:00.001-05:00

(click to embiggen)

I'd like to throw my support behind Search for Intelligent Lifeforms.

200 posts = Freddy Mercury

2010-02-19T00:54:00.000-05:00

I think I improved Bunche's non sequitor:

Night creepin'

2010-02-18T17:53:00.001-05:00

A little while back, I was reading General Joe's review of City Strike Duke, a figure I had passed on a couple of times. Why?

Channing Tatum
Duke
Ninja Duke
Giant Handlebars

Then, I had the thought, Cobra Strike Team Urban Division Night Creeper. He already had a remake in the RoC 2 pack with Night Force Shockwaveblast, but the camo party pants, and the Reactive Suit armor looked like they'd work. So during my twice weekly sushi run to Wal-Mart (only one guy in town makes Inari), I picked him up.

At first, I was stuck on two things, a head and boots. The Night Creeper lower legs simply wouldn't fit the leg pegs, and with ventilation non-existent in wintertime, I can't cast a head (though sculpting one isn't out of the question.) Then, from the pile of Neo-Vipers (as one review put it, everyone's army building NeoVipers, whether they want to or not. I've got about a dozen without even trying.), an answer arose. The Target Rescue Pack Naval NeoVipers had about the same blue lowers, and the Techno-Gothic boots looked about right, and I used the cyclops pattern technique on a NeoViper head to make the visor (the eyebrows are obscured thanks to the headscarf.) It also had the nice side effect of simulating the "Steel Surprise" all the Night Creepers wear. a little sanding to remove the crocodile smile, and away.

(Defense of Cobra Island, RoC 2pk, Frankencreeper.)

I do think the silver line in the visor might be the way to go. His face looks a little indistinct otherwise.

Bonus: April O'Neil (after I found a Rowdy Roddy Piper, and found out he had a microphone (1:18 scale promos to cut) it was inevitable. I suppose Hector Ramirez is in my future as well, once I get the camera from the Best of the 80's set.) and the Shredder, WIP.

April is a Cover Girl, with a Helix head and some conspicuous green stuff additions. The legend of the Press badge that was removed from her action figure (the company thought kids would expect an action feature, and press the badge, and be disappointed.), made the Cover Girl base a natural. Now, to get some decal paper, and make it happen.

Shredder is the torso and hood of Resolute Comic Pack Storm Shadow, with NeoViper legs, Firefly head, and Cobra Commander cape. I still have to figure out a way to make tiny blades (styrene?) for his arms and legs, and maybe dye the cape a proper purple.

Dice is where the Storm Shadow legs went to, attached to a "battle damaged" Snake Eyes torso and arms, and the Dice mask from the Storm Shadow pack.

Excellent timing, gentlemen

2010-02-12T16:57:00.000-05:00

After the earthquake Wednesday morning, (still unexplained), I remembered something from my feeds.

Defense personnel plan for midwestern earthquake - Jan 30, 2010

You probably didn’t notice, what with the disaster in Haiti, but a 6.4 magnitude earthquake hit Illinois at 10 a.m. last Tuesday, at least in the cyber-world.

Cairo was the epicenter, but the Crowne Plaza hotel on South Dirksen Parkway in Springfield was the nerve center, the place where more than 30 Department of Defense personnel gathered to practice how they would respond in case of real disaster.

While it’s Weimar’s job to design catastrophes, he is reluctant to go against the laws of science. Fulton knows full well the geography of the New Madrid fault, so buildings crumbling too far afield would raise his eyebrows. No problem — there are plenty of faults to play with.

“If I want to give him some more problem sets, I’ll bring up the Wabash fault,” Weimar said. “If we say that building collapsed, it collapsed. If we need to, we will create some aftershocks to create more problems.”

With a playbook that includes plague, chlorine tank explosions, terrorist attacks and myriad other badness, things could always be worse. Take the 10-kiloton nuclear device scenario, complete with a 40-mile radius of destruction and radioactive fallout.
“We’ve blown up Kansas City and Indianapolis twice,” Weimar said.

Nothing troubling about the timing or location at all.

First thing I thought of

2010-02-11T23:37:00.000-05:00

Charles Darwin (1871) sagely noted over a century ago, “ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge”

- Inspired by Mind Hacks' article on the Dunning-Kruger effect

Bobbing for Scorpions

2010-02-09T17:23:00.000-05:00

So, in-between falling back to sleep, and re-assuring Grandad that I don't mind classes being called off, nor are they going to fire me for not attending when I've explicitly been told not to come, I've geen fooling around on the internet. Which means finding things I can't believe exist.

Now, the Fear Factor jazz, I get. The Mario Party board they run on, the Legend of the Hidden Temple dressing, I can follow. The fact they do it surrounded by Mork, trolls,executioner midgets, women in faerie wings, Obelix, and a Van Wizard is unexplained. (Also, if cunningly brutal Mork is there, where is brutally cunning Gork?)

The trailer is over at Topless Robot, along with Doc Rotwang's notice of the fiery demise of his pants.

I still do stuff

2010-02-07T20:24:00.001-05:00

Thanks to morticoccus, I didn't do much between Halloween and MLK day (when I got my clean bill of health), so cabin fever didn't really set in until recently. Last weekend, in place of Winter War, I put together the parts for some GI Joe customs, and been painting, coating, and screwing-up for the last week.

First up, Haiku squadron. (Terrordrome uses Haiku to describe simple part swaps, HISStank uses LBC, for "Lazy Bastard Custom", while being a lazy bastard, I try not to admit it.) Nunchuck is a MARS Trooper head, and painting Stalker's skin black. I'm hoping the Dusty re-issue makes it into production, since I'd like to use a Dusty helmet for his head scarf. In a pinch, I can use the CP Storm Shadow Shredder hood. Leatherneck is a RoC Gung-Ho head on a TRU PIT Commando body, and will have a Mutt vest eventually. Night-Viper uses a SRO Ace body, HISS driver lower legs, with a MARS trooper head and helmet. I'm not sure whether to go with a night vision monocle, or tactical Snake-Eyes goggles.

Doc started when I found the Arctic Threat Doc (neither of my two entries into the Save Doc campaign worked, and I'm not hot enough on Doc to pay $40-70 for him.), so I used a Comic Pack Duke (ironic, since I only bought it for the Doc points) with Cobra Commander legs. Crankcase, I missed out on, (when given the chance to buy another HISS tank, or an Awe Striker, I naturally chose HISS tank) and I went with the production recipe of Breaker head and Shipwreck torso, but I went with Duke legs instead of Cobra trooper legs, since he had a holster, not a knife (or kneepads, for that matter.) Also, that Breaker head might lead to a future Magnum PI custom.

Dialtone (Touchtone? Ringtone? Like Mainframe, he sounds like a dinosaur.) went together really well, an Airborne body, with TRU Barbeque upper legs and a spare Flint head, and TRU Snake-eyes webgear. Airtight finally came together after getting TRU Doc. Once I saw his legs, I thought of Airtight, and put the legs on TRU Barbecue's body. Might go back and repaint the torso, and still have to decide on a helmet. I'm thinking Res Duke's helmet, but having seen how well Copperhead's head worked in a custom thread, I might give it a shot.

Cobra de Aco is a Snake-Eyes head on a Tripwire body. Cobra de Aco ("Iron Cobra") is a repaint from the Brazilian GI Joe series (like all laser troopers, he has sporty quilted armor). Major Bludd needs an eye-patch, and I'm thinking of dyeing his chestplate (the tampo should be dye-resistant). I saw someone use the Jungle Ripcord with a Major Bludd head, and while I was managing my parts box, I saw the GI Joe pack #2 Flint head (Why the long face?), and thought it might work instead of the not-quite-right open mouths of the 25th Major Bludd headsculpts. I love the never explained cyborg arm, but in reading up on him, no other version had it. So I suppose it would be my RoC/PoC Major Bludd. Not Resolute, since he still has his heart (Kali Ma! Kali Ma!) Evy uses a Cover Girl body and head, with Range Viper mask and RoC Tunnel Rat's holster.

Wait? Who's Evy? She's a Range Viper from the DIC GI Joe cartoon, and I haven't seen any customs of her, despite many calls that there needs to be a figure of her. See what a team player she is:

She has some baggage:

And she's the nemesis/best friend of GI Joe Ambush:

Haters gonna meme

2010-01-30T17:28:00.002-05:00

Image from Reis O'Brien (Note: it ended up being 24pt.)

The original Horror:

Image copyright Eliza Gauger, from her post at Ectoplasmosis.

Blue Monday?

2010-01-18T20:38:00.000-05:00

Hot on the heels of the Blue Moon, it's officially Blue Monday in the UK. Meanwhile, I've got the day off from classes, received a clean bill of health, gone through a gyro and a home-made cheeseburger (I'm bragging, since it wasn't too long ago even a 7Up was making me vomit), and walked down to the gas station for Funyons and pop.

Of course, this is all an excuse to listen to endless renditions of Blue Monday. How can I not love a song with lyrics like:

And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today

Infrared false color images of warfare and Zaxxon. This is as close to memories of my childhood as I can get.

More artsy, less angsty. Just doesn't work as well for me.

Man, the Mind's Eye videos have a lot to answer for.

I can almost taste the 90s.

The finest earworm ever written.

Thirteen-year old me and this kid should jam sometime

2010-01-17T13:27:00.000-05:00

One 13 year old boy , named Gentill Abdulla, has said that he has a time machine plan that is going to work. I have personally met him and he is an extremely bright boy. Gentill says that his ingenious plans can allow time travel to be possible. He told me " I have done a lot of research on the areas of black holes, time travel, wormholes, magnetism, light, and most importantly gravity. I have devised an experiment that if done correctly could allow time travel . Here is the theory. If you had magnets in front of each other and had one beam of blue light that had been traveling for thousands of years and put that in the middle of these two magnets then turned on lasers on each magnet , and the side they are pointing makes the magnets face each other, and when the magnets are heated have eight smaller magnets on each magnet and make those magnets so that they would repel the big magnet. Then move all these magnets toward the plastic magnet so it will compress it on all sides so it will become smaller than it's Schwarzschild radius. After this is done the magnets both should become black holes. Since they are facing each other their gravities will act and join these black holes together. There will still be a singularity but it will be magnetic. Now you make a device, that I have also made, that will split the singularity into a ring.This device that will make a hole in the singularity. Since the string is no longer there the magnets will expand enough to make the singularity into ta ring. You will know if it works because you will be able to see the other side of the hole from the entrance. Since the beam of light is old and the light beam is what is creating the effect you will be able to go back to when that beam of light was first made.So through this it will make a traversable wormhole. The negative energy really won't be negative energy because since the smaller magnets are repelling the singularity it will push it outward in the opposite way or just rotate the 2 magnets from the begining so you don't have that problem.Contact me at g_mobster2@yahoo.com" he has also told me that he has all the paperwork and schematics with him at all times. Gentill says that he is working on a new Grand unification theory and perpetual motion machine.

- from CNN iReport

It's like the bible, but different.

2010-01-14T01:40:00.001-05:00

Blue Oyster Cult - Les Invisibles

2010-01-12T22:44:00.000-05:00

BLUE OYSTER CULT lyrics - Les Invisibles

Along the world axis
The Empress lay sleeping
To the rhyme of the, of the, of the star clock
Seven sleepers
Seven sages
Seven ladders to the, to the
Seventh heaven

Seven stars
Had Ursa Major
Tables turning, turning
And rain maker
While the seven
The visitors
All went, all went
A drumming

Dance a Don Pedro
Do the Don Pedro
Games after death
Night dances 'round
Samedi and Petre
In Alchemy

Salute the Four Quarters
Before I leave your eyes
Twinned in the mirror
Les Mesteres come
End me adoration
Before I leave your eyes
World in the mirror
Waters of amnesia come

Do you know (do you know), do you know (do you know)
Do you know (do you know), do you know (do you know)
The court of Eve
Beneath the Polar Mountain
Rose cross and crosser there
Symbols of the swan
Aerial races
In rotation over
The magical casement
Visions of a parallel world

Dance a Don Pedro
Do the Don Pedro
Games after death
Night dances 'round
Samedi and Petre
In Alchemy

Tale of the Tape

2010-01-10T17:07:00.000-05:00

Somehow, it's taken me almost 18 years to finish watching Bubblegum Crisis. I started summer 92', with a T-160 video tape filled with Lupin: Castle of Cagliostro, Patlabor: the Movie, 4 episodes of Bubblegum Crisis, and the Daicon III & IV intros. All of them were taped from Laserdiscs, and no subtitles. Thankfully in those days, synopses were published in fanzines, and I had write ups from Mecha Press to work from. Years later, when dubs (gasp) and subtitles were available, I had a better idea what was going on, but even unable to tell more than "robots blow shit up, are blown up in turn by armored women", Bubblegum Crisis was the stand-out to me.

Sometimes, I would just rewind and watch the intro to the first episode over and over, watching the Boomer tear shit up to "There's a Hurricane Tonight"

I was fascinated by the style, and the enemy being an evil corporation. Mind you, at the time I wasn't of the opinion that there was a good corporation, but that's beside the point. It was also my first brush with "Cyberpunk", shortly followed by Wild Palms and Snow Crash (Thanks to a free copy with Spectre VR.) At the time, I was still heavily into "Scientifiction", Perry Rhodan, and Lovecraft pastiches, so for a computer dweeb, a world where console cowboys broke everything and had hot sex with cybered-up, battle-hardened women sounded pretty decent.

The music also deserves praise, capturing the mood of the series, and remaining listenable after all this time:

(Yes, it's the english version. I sacrilegiously like it better.)

Of course, the poor AD Police deserve a mention.

If you think popups are bad, think of them coming up when you're thermo-scanning people who might be Boomers.

"We've got a BU-12C Military grade Boomer loose on James Cameron. Unit 28, can you respond?"

"Unit 28, can you hold the subject until reinforcements arrive?"

(I always slip this guy into the first episode when I remember it.)

All I want for Christmas (is to kick your ass)

2009-12-25T01:23:00.000-05:00

This goes out to Morticoccus. (55 days, asshole. Keep trying.)

Let me get this straight...

2009-12-08T14:44:00.001-05:00

(Dr. Scott) Denton said he did not believe there was evidence that the shot had been fired at close range – that is, less than 18 to 24 inches. Denton said he saw nothing obvious to suggest close-range firing but he did not run tests on Mr. Carrington's clothing to see if there was soot or gunpowder residue on them.

A Forensic Pathologist says there's no evidence to support something, because he didn't test for it?

Rietz said her review of the report was for the sole purpose of determining if there is sufficient evidence to warrant criminal charges, not to determine if there are grounds for a civil lawsuit or if Champaign police violated any of their own departmental policies.

Well, the Escalation of Force is Unarmed > Baton > Mace/Taser > Firearm, but apparently if you have pockets it skips to Firearm.

Glock 45, which was in good working condition, fired, the bullet

I know you have to clear away the malfunction defense, but generally speaking, if it fired the bullet, the gun is in working condition.

Of course, I still feel a tickle in my hate-gland on account of her handling of the Edgar Heap-of-Birds incident:

Mark Nepermann, 21, a May graduate in fine and applied arts from Batavia, was arraigned Thursday on a single count of misdemeanor theft alleging he stole signs valued at less than $300 from the UI and Edgar Heap of Birds on Saturday.

The comedy part is each sign is appraised and insured at $10, 000, as works of art, but he was charged their material and fabrication costs, which neatly avoids a felony charge. Unlike say,

CHAMPAIGN – Champaign County State's Attorney Julia Rietz said she expects to charge a Champaign woman who allegedly encouraged her teen-age daughter to fight another teen with a felony.

Tell your daughter to fight someone on YouTube? Felony.

– Official misconduct, a Class 3 felony, alleging that on Nov. 13, 2006, he used a health district credit card to buy a personal meal.

Use the wrong credit card to pay for lunch? Felony.

Steal $20, 000 worth of art? Misdemeanor.

I guess it sounds like I'm being overly critical and getting on my soapbox for no good reason...

In the primary, Urbana attorney Alfred Ivy III criticized Rietz's office for a lack of consistency in the charges it files for various crimes. He said they were overly harsh in many cases, involving both youths and adults, particularly minorities, creating disparities in whom the county prosecutes and how.

Oh. I guess I'm not.

(All quotes taken from News-Gazette archives.)

When you live in Butt Town, you gotta get down

2009-11-29T18:08:00.000-05:00

The A-Trek

2009-11-27T18:06:00.000-05:00

In celebration of Morticoccus' 27th consecutive failure to kill me, an A-Team/Star Trek mash-up, courtesy of Electronic Cerebrectomy.

Am I Ra's Al Ghul yet?

2009-10-29T15:38:00.002-04:00

I genuinely don't understand why some people refuse to believe that I am actually Batman.

- Warren Ellis, 11:09 October 29.

Pat // Jun 23, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Red Hair, Wheelchair, Computer…So Ellis is the Batman?

- Me on Zoetica Ebb's Biorequiem

It wasn't funny on Adult Swim either

2009-10-28T23:32:00.000-04:00

A new coat of taint

2009-10-28T23:14:00.000-04:00

So while I was walking back from class today the phrase "Frontal Robotomy" came to mind. Maybe I've had Flowerewolf installed too long, maybe it's like the time I awoke from a sound sleep with a website address in mind (It was someone's photo-gallery about their motorcycle. Really.).

It doesn't seem to be in wide use:

Hans Salter titled a track from Lost in Space
"Robotomy" appears on Urban Dictionary, in a similar use to Stupode in early Scientifiction
and two years ago it titled a one-time contest.

And I don't think it's less explicable than a reference to Max Ernst's Une Semaine de Bonté (A Week of Kindness), not the comedy troupe.

Spleen Stab!

2009-10-14T22:43:00.000-04:00

It's been up for two whole weeks, so it's a keeper.

No-one in Moscow has seen GI Joe:Resolute

2009-10-12T00:48:00.000-04:00

Porkchop Sandwiches! Get the Fuck Out!

(You can skip to 5:16 here)

The New Zealand Golems

2009-10-10T16:33:00.001-04:00

...are my new favorite team

I think I broke something

2009-10-05T05:18:00.005-04:00

So I just woke up from the second dream in as many weeks. I had been pretty good about not having them, but one got through last week.

It involved sort of a Kirby-esque children's program called "Electri-City", set in the eponymous Electri City. The children's roles were as "Rangers" sort of wandering do-gooders in vaguely olive drab Cub Scout uniforms, opposing costumed villainy. The villain of this piece had a sort of gauzy, baggy hood over his head, made from the material my old astronaut's gloves are made from. I remember it clearly enough to sketch it a week later:

The dream also included a copy of the Ranger's manual, one part that stuck was a notice that a Ranger cannot serve more than a four-year hitch, (I guess sort of a leaving childish things behind concept? a subscription?) and in the back of the manual were various projects, including the wiring schematic to a listening device labeled "The Legion of Doom's Snooper". In retrospect, it seems odd to give kids access to the enemies' tech, but maybe that's my relative morality showing through.

Tonight's adventure involved a group of manga style villains who had broken out of a parallel storyline (I could identify it as vaguely in the style of Go Nagai, who engages in Moorcockian storytelling), who were traveling to just before the end of another story, hoping to make the hero suffer by making the end come out worse than it was meant to. I was enlisted to stop them, since I was from a higher reality (or even from "reality", I guess), I would be more powerful, meta-textually, than some-one from an equivalent reality. I awoke as I was being purified in a jeweled bath. So, Go Nagai's The Filth, I guess. I feel like I've discovered the truth about Dr. Stinger and Dr. Cohen, now.

Edit: For anyone wondering why I keep the Onomancer link around:
(Answer? I don't know either.)

NHK Sumo Documentary

2009-10-03T03:52:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday to me

2009-09-26T00:14:00.001-04:00

Gotta catch 'em all: Legion of Doom

2009-09-13T16:21:00.002-04:00

Replaced the Crisis Luthor and Brainiac combo.

MIA:

Bizarro (don't like the sculpt, plan on making one from a Superman)
Scarecrow (DCSH)
Riddler (Wave 5)
Toyman (unreleased)
Cheetah (unreleased, thinking of converting a Catwoman)

Nomi, now

2009-09-13T02:17:00.004-04:00

I follow Chris Sims Twitter feed, and thanks to spam, he mentioned this old post.

And it got me to thinking, if Archie could mess up things like "Don't be sad, Emo kid", what would they do with something inexplicable?

Never Forget...

2009-09-11T17:31:00.005-04:00

It's been over forty years since the Baldies destroyed the WTC, and I'm still hearing about it. A few rogue Technicons have still soured our relations with the Nebula, and I haven't heard anything from the administration about changing that.

I blame Insomnia

2009-09-10T03:38:00.002-04:00

I totally thought the captain said "Power up the WWE gun" and imagined the Yamato shooting Vince McMahon out at the Gamilus forces.

via Kevin Church. I really have got to see the new movie.

4 corner MEAT CUBES EARTH

2009-09-02T21:29:00.004-04:00

EARTH HAS 4 CORNER
SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY
MEAT CUBE

YOU DUMB-ASS EARTH, THE UNIVERSE
AND EVERY LIVING THING IN IT

       
EXISTS BETWEEN A TOP AND BOTTOM BUN, BETWEEN A FRONT AND BACK, BETWEEN OPPOSITE SIDES,
AND INSIDE AND OUTSIDE.

All knowledge of the human
word animal, is insignificant,
when his fictitious word world
is compared to Nature's own
Dynamic & Harmonic Meat Cube's Creation Principle.
 They can't allow the Meat  Cube Principle to continue.

CUBIC meat CUBES
Earth, Life, and Truth ---  contradicts 1 Day Gods,  and ineffable by human.

NASA's Moon Landing was  far less of an achievement  than Meat Cube discovery,  for I have Cubed the Earth,  with 4 simultaneous patties in 1 rotation of Earth.  (singularity beef scientist can't comprehend T.O.E.)

Who edits the MeatCube on Wikipedia?

blame Dave Campbell

Surrender, Crowley

2009-08-28T13:31:00.001-04:00

The Last days of Crowley at Hastings.

Now, I've got to pick up some curry powder.

Killer, Achiever, Hard Fun Agon

2009-08-24T11:36:00.003-04:00

Your BrainHex Class is Conqueror.

Your BrainHex Sub-Class is Conqueror-Socialiser.
You like defeating impossibly difficult foes, struggling until you eventually achieve victory, and beating other players as well as hanging around with people you trust and helping people.

Your scores for each of the classes in this test were as follows:

Conqueror: 17
Socialiser: 16
Daredevil: 14
Achiever: 11
Survivor: 10
Mastermind: 9
Seeker: 5

Go to BrainHex.com to learn more about this player model, and the neurobiological research behind it.

Brain-Damaged Cowboy Unleashed

2009-08-21T21:56:00.001-04:00

Videogame Name Generator, Go!

The Aquabats Supershow

2009-08-15T03:14:00.001-04:00

Truly, this is the world of Tomorrow.

The Ballad of GI Joe

2009-08-10T17:38:00.002-04:00

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
Henry Rollins as Duke
Sgt. Slaughter as Himself

I want them in the sequel.

Rozz-Tox Manifesto

2009-08-05T02:25:00.003-04:00

The ROZZ-TOX Manifesto

(a 1980 artifact with end of the millenium resonances)

Gary Panter

Item 1:

The avant-garde is no corpus. It merely lies in shock after an unfortunate bout with its own petard. It feigns sleep but one eye glitters and an involuntary twitch in the corner of the mouth belies a suppressed snicker. The giggle of coming awake at one's own funeral dressed in atomic TV beatnik furniture. A mutant with a mission.

Item 2:

There are twenty years left in the twentieth century. Twenty years to reap the rewards and calamities that have been put in motion in this period. At this time a current of aesthetic function is emerging: the inevitable culmination of concepts and experiments pioneered and conducted in this century. We declare society an amusement park and one to be dead reckoned with.

Item 3:

A deadly texture and tone have taken the cereal Nirvana: a misanthrope born of capitol realities, tendencies, and inter-office memos. Sightless businessmen-posed-entertainers shovel up tons of soulless Saturday morning animation. Would that you could make cost effective the rubbery genius that was the Saturday morning of our youth.

Item 4:

We say enough to the instigators of game show design for we are sick and dizzy. Show us the backs of these monstrous facades, for even bare plywood is a healthier texture. Oh you seekers of the new who run terrified from history into the clutches of an eternal life where no electric shaver can be
built to last.

Item 5:

Close the bars! We require well lit media centers that serve soft drinks and milk. We require that top-40 radio stop it. And this for extant executive entertainers: We know when to laugh. Machines don't, and it is irritation to hear them laugh at the wrong time. They laugh at nothing and nothing isn't funny.

Item 6:

Find the evil doers, the merchant peddlers of Pavlovia who use our unmentionable parts against us. Will you hide behind a scrim of two-dimensional phosphorescence when Biology exacts its reward?

Item 7:

Profound faith in glamour is a surefire way to not see that you kill what you eat. We believe and worship a two-dimensional world. No god printers save us when we stand naked and brainless before an uncompromising and impartial physicality. We are sick now/get wise to the media. Join the art police. We call for posting of cow pictures in every fast food franchise. And for vegetarians, recordings of screaming vegetables at every salad bar.

Item 8:

Beautiful and effective communicative marketing and aesthetic media are not innately evil; merely seductive. However, seductive aesthetics and media are prone to undermine common sense and vision in a capitalistic culture. Our own creations have shamed us. Teaching us that the hand and opinion of the individual are not as legitimate as that of opinion transmuted
and inflated by broadcast ... especially when that opinion is on 80-pound coated stock, in full color ... or when that opinion steals invisibly and incomprehensibly into a box in our homes. Would that society reveled in certain varieties of vandalism and disarray. May we mow our lawns and remain civilized.

Item 9:

It is unfortunate and unacceptable what vile and lazy do-nothings are given unwarranted credence for mouthing such foul and mean clichis as "rip-off" and "sell-out." They have no understanding of our economy and the time it takes society to go. Confess and shut up! Capitalism good or ill is the river in which we sink or swim. Inspiration has always been born of recombination.

Item 10:

In a capitalistic society such as the in which we live, aesthetics as an endeavor flows thorough a body which is built of free enterprise and various illnesses. In boom times art may be supported by wildcat speculation or my excess funds in form of grants from the state or patronship as a tax write-off. Currently we are suffering from a lean economy. By necessity we must infiltrate popular mediums. We are building a business-based art
movement. This is not new. Admitting it is.

Item 11:

Business 1. To create a pseudo-avant-garde that is cost effective. 2. To create merchandising platforms on popular communications and entertainment media. 3. To extensively mine our recent and ancient past for icons worth remembering and permutating: recombo archaeology.

Item 12:

Waiting for art talent scouts? There are no art talent scouts. Face it, no one will seek you out. No one gives a shit.

Item 13:

Market saturation was reached in sixties - everyone knows that. Fine Elitist Art is of diminishing utility. There is not more reward for maintaining or joining an elite and sterile crew.

Item 14:

Elitist art cannot help the emergent complex through its painful and potentially stupidly dangerous adolescence. Start or support primitive industry, propaganda to no dogma, and environmental jarrs.

Item 15:

Law: If you want better media, go make it.

Item 16:

We are born capitalists and manufacturers of alternative goods and services. We are made propagandists and propose an antimedia to no dogma. We call for popular environmental manipulators, primitive industry, an avant-garde placed squarely in the entertainment field, for archaeologists and synthesizers.

Item 17:

A call for mutant intuition and wrestling is real. A current that synthesizes ideas and entertainment .. an antimedia that creates, participates, and services and broader-based lunatic fringe and one that is capable of finishing the century outright. An avant-garde that has no mean diversion and stocks the supermarket.

Item 18:

Our lack of popularity in high school was led us to think and thinking has lead us to this. No war is waged here; only a strain, a virus, a toxoid, a Rozz-Toxoid. The emergent complex asks for just twenty years of your time. Now, stand and sing ...

Final Note:

Capitalism for good or ill is the river in which we sink or swim, and stocks the supermarket.

I first met the Rozz-Tox when the Post Brothers fought it, and the Residents.
I always had the "Stocks the Supermarket" line going through my head at work.
I wonder if the "idea = virus" of Meme theory owes as much to Rozz-Tox as Burroughs.

via Warren Ellis' Whitechapel.

I'm trying to tell you now, It's Sabotage

2009-07-28T01:32:00.004-04:00

Sabotage Yourself.

I was slow to see the value in this, but behold:

My rates are vey reasonable

2009-07-18T15:46:00.003-04:00

IT'S NOT OIL: No one in the area can recall seeing anything like it before.

It's thick and dark and "gooey" and is drifting for miles in the cold Arctic waters,

"It's certainly biological," Hasenauer said. "It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.

Something else: No one in Barrow or Wainwright can remember seeing anything like this before, Brower said.

"If it was something we'd seen before, we'd be able to say something about it. But we haven't ...which prompted concerns from the local hunters and whaling captains."

The stuff is "gooey" and looks dark against the bright white ice floating in the Arctic Ocean, Brower said.

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

"It kind of has an odor; I can't describe it," he said.

"From the air it looks brownish with some sheen, but when you get close and put it up on the ice and in the bucket, it's kind of blackish stuff ... (and) has hairy strands on it."

For the most part, the mystery substance seems to have stayed away from shore.

Huge blob of Arctic goo floats past Slope communities

Grandad isn't a Ray Bradbury fan

2009-07-01T18:15:00.002-04:00

So I went across the street to do some laundry, and found out Grandad's been using my scythe to cut weeds.

In totally unrelated news, apologies to alt.karl.malden.nose, and Mrs. Slocombe.

Invaders must die!

2009-07-01T09:17:00.004-04:00

Is it Starship Troopers time, yet?

Skeletoriental Adventures

2009-06-25T01:15:00.002-04:00

It takes the Bollywood magic of Nafrat Ki Aandhi to make me realize I've been setting my sights too low all these years. Why settle for a Throne of Skulls when you can have a Throne of Skeletor?

Also, bonus points for Orko being just as useless, but less annoying.

In Soviet Russia,

2009-06-24T01:22:00.003-04:00

Stars Congratulate You!

Courtesy of EnglishRussia and KevinChurch.

Tropical Storm Andras?

2009-06-23T08:41:00.004-04:00

This will work out great!

He can give advice on how to kill, and he can escalate quarrels and discord.
His Office is to sow Discords. If the Exorcist have not a care, he will slay both him and his fellows.
He can give advice on how to kill, and he can escalate quarrels and discord.

Thanks to ABC for pronouncing it out loud, and Delirium's Realm, for helping lazy Daemonologists everywhere.

Hey, I've still got a Poetry tag

2009-06-22T00:41:00.003-04:00

Mad props for pronouncing hesperian. I used some of the Fungi from Yuggoth in ritual work about eight years ago, and trying to read Lovecraft's verse aloud gives small joy. CAS seems more enjoyable.

Also, Clark Ashton Smith appreciation society.

Emergency Broadcast Network

2009-06-20T00:29:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday Mr. Kanigher

2009-06-19T04:08:00.003-04:00

May Apes and Robots sing your praises.

Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb

2009-06-18T03:23:00.004-04:00

Courtesy of Covers Etc

Is it bad that I remember it like this?

2009-06-18T00:28:00.002-04:00

Musical Interlude:

Twelve years late, but I support the effort

2009-06-10T05:23:00.003-04:00

I'm trying to coin the expression "triple-yew", meaning the WWW at the start of web addresses, currently we are reduced to saying "double-yew double-yew double-yew" which seems ridiculously long.
Clifford Marcus, Oxford, UK

via BBC, on the advent of the millionth word.

Can't I just take drugs instead?

2009-06-10T01:18:00.003-04:00

New Google Newsfeed removes last vestiges of Sanity, cleanly and fun.

Don't believe me?

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Hey, Rebis...

2009-05-29T00:36:00.003-04:00

did I ever tell you about this girl I met at the computer store? She had great taste in music, and she was funny, and didn't wince while she was talking to me,

Oh. Okay.